Kafila Saath aur Safar Tanha..

My sunshine when the skies are grey.

2012-02-09T14:51:00.000+11:00

I fell in love with him before I even met him (is that even possible??). First look at him, and I knew, he's the one. I smiled at his smiles and laughed when he giggled. He drove me nuts with his late nights but I always kissed him good morning when he woke up. Soon I realized this was just the beginning.

I might lose my cool some days and I might yell at you. I would cry the first day you would go out waving me "bye bye". I would wait for you to come back soon. I would make you do stuff you won't like, and you would do things which would make me mad.

But nonetheless, I love you.

My handsome boy, Ryan.

10 Challenges : 1 Picture

2011-10-24T12:09:00.003+11:00

P.S. The delay in this post was because I wanted this one to be with my lil one, Ryan. And he kept me waiting long enough.

10 Challenges : 2 Songs

2011-10-06T11:23:00.000+11:00

1. Please forgive me - Bryan Adams

2. O saathi re - Kishore Kumar

P.S. I wish I could add all Kishore Da songs here and many more. This is so unfair to just pick 2 songs when music is your life.

10 Challenges : 3 Movies

2011-10-05T11:49:00.000+11:00

1. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

A story about unapproved friendship of two young boys set in the time of World War II, with an unexpected and heart wrenching ending. The movie would leave the strongest of hearts in tears.

The boys who played the lead have done a tremendous job and at times you don't realize you are watching a movie.

2. Life is Beautiful

Originally Italian, this movie set in the World War II, is a story of a father (and his son) who uses his imagination and humor to protect his son in Nazi death camp. Unlike the first movie I mentioned, the ending of this movie has a hint of happiness and hope amidst all the sadness.

3. In Pursuit of Happyness

Based on the real life story of an American salesman turned stockbroker, Chris Gardner, the movie is about hope, happiness and the strong will. The movie depicts the struggle of a homeless salesman who works hard to provide for his son and himself and manages to achieve and feel "Happiness". Movie would touch your heart and make you appreciate what you have. And ever since I first saw the movie, I have an increased admiration for Will Smith as an actor.

P.S. I so "not" like listing just 3 movies out of a huge lot. Also, I find it a bit disappointing that I don't have any Hindi movie in my top 5 list. If I have to chose one, it would be Taare Zameen Par.

I feel all (Indian) parents must watch Taare Zameen Par and that they should stop considering their children as a medium to achieve their (parents') dreams and let the kids chose what they like and want to do. I feel the parents should express their ambitions for kids only in the form of guidance and not pressure.

10 Challenges : 4 Books

2011-10-03T20:12:00.000+11:00

1. It's not about the Bike by Lance Armstrong

Autobiography of cancer survivor and seven (consecutive) times Tour de France winner, American cyclist, Lance Armstrong. It's a book about his successful fight with cancer and him regaining his strength to win one of the most treacherous cycle races. It's a story about the victory of inner strength, about strong will and extraordinary hard work.

This is most definitely my favorite book. In fact, it's more than just a book. It's a friend, a guide, a mentor. Every time I have a doubt, I feel low, or even when I am thankful, I pick it up, and start reading from whatever page opens. The book gives me a sense of gratefulness about who I am and what I have. It gives me courage mentally and physically.

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it". Written around this motto, the book is a story of a boy who travels to find treasure, and along the way finds love, danger, tragedies. He meets people who guide him towards his destination only to find that the treasure is self-realization.

This book is a fiction, which I refuse to agree with, as it brings you as close to reality as it could get. It's about chasing your dreams and doing everything possible to achieve them. It makes you realize what you really want from life. It helps you to find the purpose of you being here. It brings you closer to yourself and appreciate the reason of your existence. It is a must read for those who are seeking the spiritual path of their life. The book was my companion when I was in SHAR and helped me to cross the otherwise impossible bridges that came my way.

3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin

The story set in 19th century revolves around Elizabeth Bennet, a girl from an English country town, her family and her complex love for Mr. Darcy, the main male character of the book. The book is one of the most popular novels of English Literature.

I read the book when I was in 11th standard and since then, it is my favorite fiction. The character of Elizabeth Bennet is one of the most beautiful yet complex written characters. I have read my forms and versions of this book, including a picture book and have seen the movie made on the novel, all equally beautiful. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone looking for light reading but is definitely for someone who has an interest in old style romance and artful writing.

4. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
A mystery-thriller about the conflict between the catholic church and scientific society set in modern world, introduces the character of Robert Langdon, which is also the main character in Dan Brown's sequel to the book, the Da Vinci Code and later the Last Symbol.
I love the style of writing almost as much as I like the plot. The minute details about Vatican history and the architecture is simply superb. The book has one of the most unpredictable endings I have read. With proper respect to religion and intriguing approach towards science and the mingle of both, the book is a must read for all thriller lovers.

10 Challenges : 5 Foods

2011-10-02T21:27:00.000+11:00

1. Chocolates (it's food, ain't it?) - Chocolates, in almost all shapes and sizes (except white chocolate). In all forms - cakes, fudge, mousse, shakes, anything. I suffer from chocolate addiction. I wonder if I would ever be able to share my stock with my kids :D :P

2. Parantha - Any kind of parantha, stuffed, plain, spicy - this is all I have been eating for the past 4 months. I remember when I used to take achar and parantha for breakfast in my school days, everyday, for 6 years. I still love it, anytime of the day.

3. Dal-Bafle - Being half rajasthani and an Indorie, this is the food for every occasion. :) And I don't hold back on ghee either with dal-bafle. (For those who don't know, Bafle is a variation of baati. And for those who don't know either, you ought to try them.) Oo! I am already drooling ;)

4. Methi-Aloo - Though I like all greenies but meethi is my favorite. I love it in all forms. And methi-aloo is something I can have for breakfast (yes!), lunch and dinner (and anytime in between).

5. Choley-(Bhature) made by mum - I was never a fan of choley, am still not. But if cooked by mum with bhature, they are my absolute favorite. I think I am gonna have her cook 'em for tomorrow's lunch :D

Happy Eating!! :)

10 Challenges : 6 Places

2011-09-30T10:04:00.000+10:00

This one is probably my favorite to list :) I love to travel and I have been lucky enough to do so. It's certainly one of the most difficult parts to pick out my favorite places but here are some which influenced me in more than one way.

1. Jaipur (Rajasthan, India) - The pink city has been one of the most important parts of my life. My mother and father both being from Jaipur have their roots there and the bond was passed on to us too. Yearly visits to Jaipur kept it alive and made it even stronger. Not only our ancestry but the history of the city itself keeps inviting me and is almost like a passion. Now that I don't get to visit Jaipur as often, I miss the place and constantly yearn to be there. Every time I am there, I feel a sense of peace and calm and satisfaction.

2. Fond Du Lac (Wisconsin, USA) - FDL is the first city I visited (and lived in) in USA. A very small town of Wisconsin located at the bottom of Lake Winnebago. What I feel about the place is hard to express in words. It was the place that made me realize and made it sure for me, that it isn't about east or west, isn't about cultural differences, not about races and communities, but its all about love. It's about the bonding of people. FDL became the place where I truly admired the beauty of all weathers. I still remember my first day in snow. I fell in love with the place that very day. After my one year stay in FDL, I knew for sure, if I were ever given a choice, I would gladly settle down there and spend the rest of my life in the heavenly city.

3. Ajmer Sharif Dargah (Rajasthan, India) - I went to the dargah of Saint Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti, when I was 10. And till date, I feel the same energy flowing in my veins, just thinking about it, which I did when I was there. I never felt the same way at any other place. I still get goosebumps looking at the pictures or watching a video, or just closing my eyes and thinking about it. It amazes me how I remember every single detail about the place. Being there was like standing in front of the almighty. People wonder how it would be if we ever get to see the one powerful. For me, it was that moment when I entered the premises of dargah. And it's wonderful how at that age I had the feeling and it stayed with me. Now hearing about the place all commercialized, I wonder if I would feel the same way when I would go there again. But something tells me, I would.

4. Sriharikota (Andhra Pradesh, India) - I don't usually like to talk about SHAR, coz the place is my weakest point. Ever since I could remember, I always wanted to be a part of ISRO and SHAR was the place I wanted to work in. I worked towards this goal all my academic life and succeeded. Couldn't remember a day when I was happier than the day I signed my joining at SHAR. Later when I saw the station where I was posted, the launch pad for GSLV rockets, it was magical. Crashing waves on the shores of Bay of Bengal and the peace and quiet of the jungle, the launch pad became my fortress of solitude while I was there. I don't regret leaving the place, but I sure miss it, big time. SHAR is the place which transformed me into a whole new person, for better and for worse. Who I am today, is mainly because of the time spent there. SHAR made me a whole lot stronger, mentally and emotionally.

5. New York City (New York, USA) - The city where you feel Life oozing out of every dimension. Where you know everyone but don't know anyone. The city where everyone is the king. A city that never sleeps. The city which is a small world in itself. The city where you are never alone but yet you are, always, alone. The city, which when hurt, changed the face of the world. Food, music, colors, cultures, history, art, people - everything about it attracts you. You can't help but fall prey to the charm of the place and yet you love it. The place where I would go if I want to forget all my worries and just Live.

6. Indore (Madhya Pradesh, India) - Where I was born and brought up. The place which runs in my blood. Every part of me is soaked in the spirit of this city. I am an Indorie inside and out. I love absolutely everything about the city. Food, markets, roads, festive spirit, places, people, even the senseless traffic :) - every single, small little thing. It's a city which can only be experienced. Nothing you read, hear or see would be enough and accurate to give you the picture unless you've been there. It would be injustice to wrap up about Indore in a small lil paragraph, so I am going to dedicate an entire post on my Love :)
Until then, Chao!

10 Challenges : 7 Wants

2011-09-26T13:02:00.000+10:00

This list is more like a Wishlist. :) I WANT -

1. To do something for myself - For the past 5 years I have been roaming around the world. Now I want to settle down and do something which would give me self-satisfaction. (Not that I mind traveling, but it has become a restriction lately).

2. To say what I need to say - Nothing expresses this one better than John Mayer's song "Say what you need to Say".

3. Nikon DSLR - I have been wanting to get an SLR for so long but always end up buying something else. But now this gadget is on the top of my "to buy" list along with the full lens set.

4. A (MontBlanc) Fountain Pen - I was introduced to fountain pens when I was in 6th standard and ever since I have been a fan. I owe my fairly good handwriting to these pens (and of course, nanaji's guidance). Now coz of all the technology, I hardly use pens but I still want to own a beautifully crafted fountain pen.

5. Personal video library - Being a movie/TV lover, I definitely want my personal collection of original dvds/blu-rays/cds. This one I'm sure would be a reality the soonest as I share this one with Rits :)

6. Drive a Porsche convertible - Though my knowledge of cars is limited but one thing I know is, I have a thing for sports cars and convertibles. And would love to drive one (preferably a Porsche, jst for the looks of it) on a long drive in Wisconsin country side.

7. Martin Acoustic Guitar - Whether I play it or not, I want this just to make me feel good. :) If it brings out the lost passion, that would be a bonus :)

10 Challenges : 8 Fears

2011-09-24T21:46:00.000+10:00

Here are my 8 Fears - (not in any order).

1. Snakes - I think I mentioned it before, and that's that. Just the thought of 'em makes me nervous and uncomfortable.

2. Getting into water - Water-parks, beaches, even bathtubs - not my thing. I certainly enjoy sitting on the side, photographing people having fun but getting wet is not for me.

3. Losing my teeth - This is like my worst nightmare. I have had this dream countless times when I wake up with one of my teeth broken. And let me tell you, that ain't funny :(

4. Crazy rides - Dark tunnels, speed, sudden drops, heights, crazy turns - anything that would pump up my adrenaline - big No No. Only thing I do in amusement parks is click photos :) (and ride those small toy trains, of course)

5. Losing my identity - I often wonder, and fear, what if in playing all the roles of a woman's life, I lose myself.

6. Closed spaces - I have what is called borderline claustrophobia. I don't hyperventilate but confined spaces make me anxious and uncomfortable. I get numb and tingly at the same time.

7. Missing a train or flight - I try to reach railway station and airports (too) well before time. This fear of mine is a serious discomfort for anyone else traveling with me coz more than often people end up getting bored at the station/airports.

8. Cockroaches - They are more a dislike than fear. I can't bear to be in the same room with a cockroach. Specially the big flying ones. They are just creepy.

10 Challenges : 9 Loves

2011-09-23T19:19:00.001+10:00

Didn't think Nine Loves would be so difficult to list. You see, I have so many :D

1. Family - Don't we all understand the meaning of LOVE in the family?

2. Guitar - Wouldn't be wrong to say Guitar has been my first love since I was 12. And nothing has changed much since then except that I don't play anymore. I just enjoy listening someone else play.

3. Bridges - I have been lucky enough to see some of the most beautiful bridges in the world. But be it an engineering marvel like the Oakland Bay Bridge or Golden Gate Bridge or a small one in the beautiful country side. A simple bridge on river Shipra or Worli Sea link, I absolutely love Bridges. Its hard for me to not stop over/near a bridge and take a snapshot.

4. Movies - I am a typical movie buff. I love movies, I live movies. I watch movies, I can talk movies :) An ideal Sunday for me would be sitting on the couch, munching popcorn and watching non-stop movies. I don't have any special taste, but any and all movies would do.

5. Trains - I don't miss a chance to travel in trains. Every time I visit India, I make it a point to at least travel once by railways. And my love of trains includes the lil small kiddie trains in parks and gardens :)

6. Stationary - I have this huge stack of pens, pencil, papers, clips, cards, copies, colors, files and what not which I hardly use but I find it hard to stop myself from getting something from stationary aisle every time I am in one.

7. Photography - I would have to thank my dad and then my husband for this one. Dad, for introducing me to the beautiful world of photography and Rits for getting me "my" first digi cam. Though my love of photography is a but annoying for him at times, when I make him stop in the middle of the road, or spend too much time looking through my lens and not the surroundings. But he has been a patient supporter :)

8. Travel/Outings - Doesn't matter if I am going to some exotic beach resort for a long vacation, or the neighborhood park, I love to be out with family and/or friends.

9. Ocean - Ever since my first visit to the sea shore in Sriharikota, I am deeply in love with the salty, humid ocean air. Despite of my fear of getting into water, I still love sitting on beaches, harbors, shores just to smell the ocean. Nothing feels more peaceful than the sound of crashing waves and the endless reign of water.

P.S I have SO many more, wasn't fair leaving them out. But a challenge is a challenge :)

10 Challenges : 10 Secrets

2011-09-21T10:41:00.001+10:00

I had been following this blog for quite sometime. Its simple, its honest and its very close to real life. Makes you "feel good" most of the time. And the latest post seemed like a good read and an interesting challenge. So I thought 'lets take it' :)

Here is my Day 1 - 10 Secrets. (Don't 10 Secrets seem a lot :P). Anyway.

1. I am a Pessimist. Glass is always half empty for me. No matter how hard I try to look at the brighter side, I end up looking at the darker one.

2. I have Snake-Phobia. Watching even the simplest picture/video of snake (let alone a live one) could spoil my night's sleep. I don't go to any public restroom, closed spaces, changing rooms and even my own bathrooms, without glancing over for some 'hidden' snake.

3. I can't let go (more honestly, I don't want to). I had been trying for so long. But I just can't. If something goes deep enough, it would never come out. That sometimes makes me miserable but I still feel like it completes me.

4. I have a photographic memory (or so I think). I remember things, people, places, which even amazes me. Ask me about a place I went to when I was 5, and I could give you full description. But I suck at numbers. Family and friends have a long list of complaints about me forgetting important dates, days and occasions.

5. I am, what people call, "anti-social". I love being alone. Or with only very close ones. I hate when I have to dress up, go out and visit someone. I am not the happiest one when people visit. I try to escape out of any possible situation where I would have to sit and talk.

6. I am a day-dreamer. (Did you know, I am going to be an NGeo photographer who teaches environmental conservation at a renowned university and paints in free time) Like they say, if you dream, dream big ;)

7. Only thing I regret is giving up my passion for guitar. And now after all these years, I don't have enough courage to pick up the pieces again. I keep hoping I would some day. But like I said, being a pessimist, I doubt I would.

8. I have a thing for crime/police dramas. I can watch Law and Order all day long. I can spend my whole weekend sitting in front of TV watching anything with police/FBI/CIA and crime. Haven't seen much of Hindi crime series, so can't say the same for 'em though. My family thinks it shows the destructive side of me, so be it ;)

9. I am a softy. Ask me anything with only a hint of politeness and genuineness (is that even a word?), I would certainly say, yes. No is a hard word to find in my dictionary.

10. I am a pretty good liar. So don't believe everything I say ;)

There. You know a lil more abt me :)

Be back soon with my "nine loves".

P.S Shilpa - thanks for the post and the idea. I couldn't resist myself. :)

And again.

2011-07-15T10:33:00.000+10:00

Breaking News and - more (status) updates, more blogs, more uproar, more anger. And the conclusion would be- NADA. This is what the reality is. This is what has been going on since the first attack on Mumbai in 1993. This is what happened after every single attack, all over India. And who's to blame for the mayhem? The terrorists? Who know their safe haven, who know they wont be touched for whatsoever they do in India, who know how they would be treated even after getting caught. Or the Indian Law (read politics)? keeping the caught ones "safe" behind bars, providing them and feeding them, for God only knows what reasons.

"99% terror strikes have been prevented, says Rahul Gandhi - TOI". Go Rahul. What excuse!! Couldn't come up with anything better? What about the rest 1%? Weren't lives lost in those? Or is it only because no "significant (read politician)" has been a victim so far that nothing conclusive was done about them.

Where are we headed?

MORE DISAPPOINTMENT.

Helping Economy!?

2011-05-23T08:51:00.001+10:00

I noticed a big difference in US/Australian and Indian shopping cultures, apart from the obvious mall culture and quality, specially when it comes to grocery/veg shopping. Of course, here they don't have muddy fruits-vegetable markets (which let me tell you, I loved when I was in India because of the quality and freshness of the products sold there), or the convenient corner grocery shop but what they have is pride in what they have. With the mall culture creeping now in India and people buying their everyday necessities from a mall (in big cities i.e.), it is only fair to compare the trends.

Here, like in India, they have two sections, "Home grown vegetables (or Product or Australia)" and "XYZ grown (Product of XYZ country)". Now when I was in Delhi/Hyd, I saw a big rush in people to buy those imported, foreign grown products (for whatever reasons). But here when I see people preferring Home produces and only turning to imported ones when they can't get that in home produce section, I feel a sense of delight (or may be I don't have the right word). Doesn't it make sense? It is not only about vegetables, its about the products and services in general. I wonder how much difference it would make to the country's economy if we consider such little things.

What could be the reason, we (Indians) don't have a sense for pride for our own things? Why is it that we are more satisfied buying imported products than our own? At the end of the day, wouldn't a Titan (which is world's fifth largest wrist watch manufacturer, FYI) show the same time as a Rolex? and a Lakme product make a girl as confident (and beautiful) as a L'Oreal?

10 Things - Must Do

2011-04-13T13:55:00.003+10:00

Based on personal travel experiences in USA, Malaysia, Singapore, India and Australia till date.

Get wet in the "Maid of the Mist" under the Niagara Falls. It is "Divine". No other word can define the feeling.
Never miss an Air Show. (Specially when F22s are flying. Boy! they are something). I am not much into aircrafts, but F22s are some flying machines that won my heart.
Go to any famous Temple in India and "feel" the faith people have. Its unlike anything you would ever see. I first had this feeling in Dargah Sharif of Khwaja Muinuddin Chishti in Ajmer (not a temple technically) and I still feel goosebumps thinking about it after almost 15-17 years.
Walk and walk on the streets of Manhattan. Don't miss the night walks specially in winters. (Its strange how you don't get tired unless you stop to eat/rest).
Spend Christmas in a small town of mid-west or northern states of US. Its the most amazing festival experience.
Hike in a Canyon. (I personally loved the Bryce Canyon in Utah). Rock formations are mystical and you feel like being in a different age of time.
Stay on a small island (The smaller the better) and watch the sun set in the sea. My favorite - Langkawi Island, Malaysia.
Take a "small plane" (2-4 seater) ride. They are scary but in a fun way. (Better than any coaster you would ride).
Kayak in the open sea.
Welcome the New Year, Sydney Style, on the Harbor with fireworks from the bridge. Most amazing celebration.

My list is a lil longer than just 10. But these are few things, I wouldn't think twice before doing again. Anyday, anytime. Do it if you can (and afford. Too bad, such things burn a hole in the pocket).

And the journey continues..

This is it?!.

2011-04-12T09:18:00.001+10:00

Ever since I came to Sydney, and believe me, the very first day as I got off the plane and cleared immigration, I had this feeling - "THIS IS IT". This is it.

I had been traveling a lot in the past 5 years. A LOT. Four different countries, Seven different cities, and countless stopovers (not to mention, amazing holidays. In fact the whole phase was a big holiday). Not that I mind it so much, until last year. I always took it as a beautiful journey (if you leave the 'moving' part out, that sucks, totally). I loved going around the world, living around some of the most beautiful cultures, meeting the most amazing people, and getting to eat awesome food (Oh! I miss the American Mexican and the Malaysian Idli).

Last year when I had to spend about 6 months in Delhi (out of a bag), I realized I needed a halt. More like a stop (not a stopover). I realized I would love a vacation once in a while but I needed to put my roots down. And then I moved again. To Hyderabad (which turned out to be just another pause) and I moved 'again'. This time to Sydney (Couldn't have asked for a better one).

As I was packing I had this fear, this dilemma of whether or not this was the right decision (never felt that way about any other move). Probably because in my heart, somewhere, I had the feeling that I might call this place a HOME (God! Have I longed for a place to call home for the past FIVE years!). And sure enough, this feels like Home. :)

I liked Sydney from the day I landed but I started to LOVE her when I realized that the place has made me so much more positive. I don't want to guess the reason but I am a happier person here. No matter what goes around I seem to come out of it quicker than earlier. It hasn't been perfect, of course, but it has made me more - Satisfied? Umm..Yes. That would be the word. Satisfied. I care less (Some of you might not like the idea of caring less, but trust me, I have cared enough. A lil too much. So I like the change). Oh! and yes, the weather is just "BEAUTIFUL", all the time. :) I found my fortress of solitude, here, at the Sydney Harbor.

I would hate to conclude such post with some strong/hopeful/fact based/philosophical statement. I would like to leave it open. Sydney has so much more to offer, I believe. So I would let it keep coming. Until then, I am Home (Happily)!! :)

Invictus.

2011-04-09T22:27:00.000+10:00

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

Butterfly, fly away.

2011-03-16T10:16:00.000+11:00

I was watching Hannah Montana - The movie, the other day (not that I am a fan, I just like the movie) and I realized how difficult it could be to live a double life. But don't we all live a double life. Being a girl, I sure do. I keep wondering if there is one person on this planet with whom I could be ME; provided, I know the real me. Over the years I have lost all that defined me once and the life has written a new definition of/for me. I, like most of the others, go by it. I follow the rules made for me. I follow the mind instead of the heart (Is that wrong?). More often than less, I suppress my thoughts, feelings and emotions to be in the line and not break the rules. And every time I do that, it pulls me away from what I actually am. Once in a while, I look out the window, look for myself, and all I could see is the shadow of the past. As the time goes by, darkness swallows even the shadow and I am lost again.

One day, I wish, and I hope to find myself. One day, I want to live free, I want to re-define myself. One Day.

Caterpillar in the tree

How you wonder who you'll be

Can't go far but you can always dream.

Wish you may and wish you might

Don't you worry, hold on tight

I promise you there will come a day

Butterfly, fly away.

"A Night to Remember"

2011-02-18T22:41:00.001+11:00

Retro Hour on Vividh-bharti introduced me to the heavenly voice of Bryan Adams years ago and ever since then he has been a part of my life. An important one. In many ways, an inspiration to my musical side. It had been my dream to see him perform live and sure enough it was a breathtaking experience. Out of this world. Writing about it would be an injustice to what it was like and how I felt but I would still like to share.

Even after an insane crowd, 2.5 hours of delay, standing for 6 hours straight, it was worth every single second. Very special company and yes, I couldn't have asked for more. In his last show in India for this tour, he was generous enough to sing for two hours, almost all the major hits and more and a special treat of 2 songs from his yet to release album, Bare Bones. Obliging all the "one more" shouts.

Summer of 69, Everything I do, 18 till I die, Cloud no.9, I am Ready, Here I am and many many more. And an awesome guitar piece by Keith Scott. I could still hear his voice singing "Somebody" in the back of my mind and my ipod constantly playing him ever since I returned to the normal world. Oh! How I wish the time had slowed.

Surely, "A Night to Remember".

Can't wait to see him again.

P.S. 'Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.'

Answer

2011-01-28T15:59:00.000+11:00

Cast me gently

Into morning

For the night has been unkind

Take me to a

Place so holy

That I can wash this from my mind

The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life

I won't break, I won't bend

It will all be worth it

Worth it in the end

'Cause I can only tell you what I know

That I need you in my life

When the stars have all burned out

You'll still be burning so bright.

Empty?!

2011-01-25T10:13:00.000+11:00

He asked me to make a list of people/things I can't go without. Something/someone that makes me happy. All I could think of was "I can't do without a big enough bathroom". But then again, I AM doing without it now, as my current apartment's isn't what I would call a big one. My point is, after about a month, my list is still blank and I haven't got enough courage to talk to him. Because I know whatever he would say would be right. And I am not sure if I am ready to face the "right".

I am pretty sure that one thing that makes me happy is ME. Me- 'Alone'. It should be a positive thing, ain't it? What about the people? You can't escape them. Wherever you go, there they are. Telling you what to do, how to do. Judging every single step you take. Criticizing every decision you make. Among these "wise" people, I feel lost. Lost without any aim. Without any destination. I need to find my way, if not my purpose.

In the words of David Wagoner -

"Stand Still.

The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost.

Wherever you are is called Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost to you,

You are surely lost.

Stand Still.

The forest knows where you are.

You must let it find you."

Do I need to stand still? and let it find me?

A 'Still' Journey.

2011-01-24T10:24:00.001+11:00

I am not old enough to talk about "life". I haven't seen a percent of what it is. Me talking about life is like someone talking about the universe, without having a clue of its vastness but just an idea of its beauty. In whatever small period of my life till date, I have lost and found love. I have dreamed and let the dream break. I have got whatever I wanted and still felt empty. But in all those years, I thought, I knew what I wanted. That was what kept me driving. Every setback, every failure, I accepted it. I had to. And the life didn't stop. At those times people around me advised me to move on. To let go. And I did. But then again, did I?

Moving on and letting go are such illusive words. You never actually move on. Never. You might mummify the memory, bury it in the pyramid of time, but it lies there, though dormant but very, very real. Forever. Once in a while giving you a whiff of the past, pleasant and unpleasant. A part of you stays in that period, no matter how far you have come, leaving a void in you, which is never to be filled. And it is the void that keeps you moving. Because if you stop, the past drags you back into the hole, denying you the possibilities of the present and the future. The void becomes a reminder of what you have lost/gained and what you should preserve.

These are things you have no control over. You don't move on, but you still walk, looking back once in a while. You don't control life. Life controls you.

As RANDOM as it could be.

2011-01-14T11:57:00.000+11:00

"Queensland flooding claims four-year old boy." - iprime Horsham

"Five killed in Arizona shooting. " - Fox News

"Mystery shrouds students' death in Bangalore." - Time of India

"Brazil flood death toll rises to 482, more feared". - Reuters

We wake up to similar news everyday. Big or small, natural or humane, calamity or incident, such occurrences claim hundreds of lives. Hundreds of innocent lives. What could be the criterion of such happenings? How are the people chosen to die untimely or suffer, if they live? Why some meet death and others survive? What bad could a four year boy have done to meet this end? Can you or I be the next victim? Does God (if there is) has any, any plan for us?

Unanswered questions. And more questions. Could there be any purpose of something, or anything for that matter, if the life is so random? "As you sow so shall you reap". Doesn't mean a thing. Those who meet an untimely end and do not get to do what they wanted with their life must have had done something terrible, right? But I could not make a child fit the bill. He didn't get a chance. Or those who happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Like the person who went to check on his father in a flooded house and drowned. Is any of what happens to them, their fault?

How could one not lose faith, when there is no hope of having a hope?

The Wish and the battle inside.

2011-01-09T23:17:00.000+11:00

Each one of us has one wish, we don't usually share with anyone. The wish we don't even admit to have. Something we want so badly that it dominates everything else in our lives, without us knowing about it.

The fear of falling stops us from walking towards it. And most people spend their whole life with the fear and end up never stepping up and then ultimately losing it.

I am no different than most people. And I have that One Ultimate Wish too. But I don't want my fear to get in the way of me, fulfilling that wish. I have already wasted five years in the darkness of it and I refuse to be haunted by it anymore. So this year, I am going to work for it. I have nothing to lose because if I don't, I lose it anyway.

I am going to make that call, and I am going to make my wish come true. And if it doesn't, I would live with the satisfaction of fighting for it.

Teri yaad saath hai.

2011-01-06T11:25:00.002+11:00

Main Jahaan Rahoon
Main Kahin Bhi Hoon
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai.

Kisi Se Kahoon
Ke Nahi Kahoon
Yeh Jo Dil Ki Baat Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai

Kahin To Dil Mein Yaadon Ki
Ek Suli Gad Jaati Hai
Kahin Har Ek Tasveer Bhahut Hi Dhondhali Pad Jati Hai
Koi Nayi Duniya Ke Naye Rango Mein Khush Rehta Hai
Koi Sab Kuch Paake Bhi Yeh Mann Hi Mann Kehta Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai

Kahin To Beete Kal Ki Jadein
Dil Mein Hi Utar Jaati Hai
Kahin Jo Dhage Tute To Malaayen Bhikar Jaati
Koi Dil Mein Jagah Nayi, Baaton Ke Liye Rakhta Hai
Koi Apni Palko Par Yaadon Ke Diye Rakhta Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai

- Javed Akhtar

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-24T21:46:00.000+11:00

I love Christmas eve more than the Christmas day. Its not a white Christmas this year. But its the holidays again. So no worries. :) For a Holly Jolly Christmas, some winter crackers. ;)

What goes "oh oh oh"?

Santa walking backwards.

What goes: now you see me, now you don't. Now you see me, now you don't?

A snowman on a zebra crossing.

When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?

In the dictionary.

How does a snowman lose weight?

He waits for the weather to get warmer.

What do you have in December that's not in any other month?

The letter D.

and the last one, this one is my favorite.

Whats white and goes up?

A confused snowflake!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

P.S. My favorite Christmas carol - Let it snow!!

But this year its - Santa Baby.

Whats yours??

The Question, finally answered.

2010-12-23T12:13:00.000+11:00

Warning - Contains explicit language. Reader discretion advised.

All the material in the post is, unless otherwise stated, the property of the blogger (that is, me). Reproduction of the material, in whole or in part, in any manner, without the prior consent of the copyright holder, is violation of law.

Two geniuses from IIT-Mumbai used their intellectual talent and hard work to solve a long standing question. The question of "Who came first? - Murgi or Anda", is finally answered. (Or to say - a strong theory has been proposed).

It was MURGI.

Lets talk this in reverse psychology (to understand the reason behind). If it were Anda that came first, it would still need a Murgi to hatch the Anda. So, according to the theory, what happened was, Murgi and Murga came first. They happily engaged in sex and produced a beautiful egg which the Murgi hatched afterwards.

If God had created Anda, he would have still needed a Murgi, like said before. So he thought of just creating a Murgi (and with slight changes, a Murga) and let them take care of the Anda.

-So there it is. "Hence Proved".

Now I would like to Thank my dear friend J and his partner (in crime), Anshul, for the important work in the field and coming up with a theory that could revolutionize the world. My best wishes for their bright future.

P.S - All you out there, with conspiracy (or otherwise) theories, please feel free to post them here. But don't forget to get a patent for them. This is not something you could afford to lose (Unless you are Phunshuk Wangdoo with other 400 patents in your name).

The Good-Bye

2010-12-19T23:32:00.000+11:00

The hardest thing to do in a relationship is the Good-Bye.

(And I am one person who totally sucks at this.)

I have been following this blog Soliloquies for sometime now. And every time I read a post in it, its like reading my own thoughts. Tonight when I logged in, there was a new post, 'Alvida...". Title was self-explanatory (having followed it for a while now, I could guess), but I was still hoping that this would not be his last post. But it was. I have no 'one' word to describe what I felt. I wished this wasn't it. Call me selfish, but reading my thoughts expressed so easily by someone else, was kind of a relief. But sooner or later, Good-byes are mandatory.

So I guess, now is the time to express my feelings, thoughts, in my words. Tough thing to do.

Thank you, to the author of the blog, for showing me the side of Love, that he did through his words. I hope I would get to read the more positive side of it, somewhere, from him only.

Good-Bye for now, Friend.

Beliefs.

2010-12-07T23:39:00.003+11:00

Why is that most thoughts come to the mind 'in the bed', right before I am off to sleep?

Anyway, today I decided to write them down instead of waiting till morning and then forgetting about it, like usual.

I was in a small grocery shop with Rits when this old aged man, with white beard and black outfit, approached us. He asked us if we were from India. When we replied positive, he said (asked), he knew that there are many Gods in India. After our 'yes', he said, "It doesn't matter. Jesus is the only one. He is the only one powerful. No one else exists". I thought of saying something but soon realized that the guy was not the one to be argued with. So after his "it was a jolly chat, good day! :) ", we left.

I am a very Secular person. I go to temples. I find peace in dargahs. I pray to Jesus and carry a New Testament in my bag along with the Hanuman Chalisa. So when people come to me with such strong statements, I can't help but feel anger towards them.

I wonder why people try to force their personal beliefs on others.

It's same everywhere.

2010-12-06T12:14:00.005+11:00

- "Please stay behind the yellow line at all the times. Stay as far from tracks as possible. This is for your own safety".

This is what I got to hear at the Harris Park train station, Paramatta. This was a public announcement for 'me' apparently, as there were only a few (read 7) people with us on the platform. And I was the only one fooling around on "the other side of the yellow line" (trying to click a couple of shots). :P

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Machine beeps -"No card accepted". Rits goes and gets the cash from ATM down the road. (Though there was a slot for card which wasn't working.)

"Only coins accepted". He goes and gets some change from the shop across the street. (again there was a slot for notes but wasn't accepting the notes for some reasons.)

"A maximum of 10 coins accepted". He goes again and gets coins of $1 and $0.50.

And then we discovered that we were short $2 (in coins).

This is what happened at Homebush train station where there was NO ticket counter but only ticket vending machine which accepted only coins, that too, 10, 20, 50 cents and 1 dollar. And only a maximum of 10 coins. So after 3 trips to ATM, and shop, outside the station, we were still short. Train was about to come in 3 mins (next one was after 30 mins)

Lucky, we saw some guys coming (later found out that they were Australian Indians) and we asked them for change and they gladly helped. Many thanks.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Point of the post - In a city (like Sydney) with so much surveillance as to announce a message of personal safety on public announcement system, for a particular individual, they don't have a ticket counter/or a properly working ticket machine at some stations. (How is anyone supposed to get a ticket from that station if he doesn't have to have any change and/or adequate number of coins?).

So Sydney could be as dysfunctional as any Indian city. :) (Did I just made a smiling smiley? I am an Indian after all. *wink*)

Sydney! Finally.

2010-11-30T09:20:00.003+11:00

I like the mornings when it has rained all night and in the morning everything is fresh and slightly cold. Wasn't so beautiful in India (with all the mess created by the rain overnight and the flooding afterward). But this is one of the perks of living abroad. On such a fresh morning, what could be better than a cup of hot chocolate, oldies (its Shammi's day today :)) and the blog.

When I landed on Nov 13th at Kingsford Smith International Airport, Sydney, I was a lil skeptic about whether I would like the place. US (Fond Du Lac, to be exact) has grown on me so much that I feel I would not feel at home anywhere else (sadly, 'anywhere' includes India too). First couple of days I kept thinking if my decision of moving, to a European cultured country, was right. Weather is unpredictable, streets are deserted, markets close at 7 pm (excluding the food-joints). But soon I realized unpredictable weather is nice. I don't have to worry about the constant heat. And some days are so so beautiful. I am liking the surprises of the mornings. Deserted streets are kind of peaceful, which I always wanted and early market closing means people could spend time at home with family (instead of uselessly roaming in supermarkets, like in US). Now I think, Sydney isn't so bad after all.

Definitely, this is going to take time. Coz it is totally not my type. I am more at ease with liberal and casual culture of US. Sydney (don't want to generalize by saying Oz, just yet) is more on formal, traditional style. People are always finely dressed. (Even when going for a casual Sunday morning breakfast. Makes me uncomfortable :P).

Anyway, I din't know that the richest people in Oz are Chinese and Japanese. I wonder, how come, there are so many Chinese everywhere. I feel Sydney is the most cosmopolitan city I have been too (beating NYC and LA). People from all around the world. The Limo Driver who picked us up from the airport was a Pakistani. Nice guy. He even got us some Indian Dinner. :)

I am yet to visit any famous landmark. One good thing is, my new apartment is just 5 mins walk from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. So I am gonna get lots of pics of the Bridge. Did I ever mention, Bridges are my favorite photographic subject? Well, yes. I wanted to upload some pics with this post too, but I wanted them to be of the Bridge or the Opera House. So that would have to wait, I guess.

I would be back (soon) with more about the city.

Until then, chao!

P.S. Is this one of my most 'unorganized' post?

My favorite Shammi song - "Tarif karun kya uski". Beautiful lyrics. :)

SYDNEY!

2010-11-25T12:02:00.005+11:00

Ok! I am back. Long time. I've been wanting to get regular for a while now, but guess I am too lazy to do that. Today I decided to do it. Sit and write. Its tough, you know. When you actually want to write, you find nothing significant. But when you don't, your thoughts are like a crowded Asian street. I go every night to bed thinking about what I want to pen down, what I want to preserve in writing, what about the day was most important. I keep some tabs in mind so that when I would wake up I would write them down. And when I wake up, I think, "would do it in the afternoon when I would be totally free, nothing else to do". And when its afternoon, I feel I have nothing much to write, so next time.

See, this is happening again. I thought I would write about Sydney. But I guess that would have to wait, again.

I think I should leave the title though coz I wanted to write about it. Why does it have to match the content anyway.

P.S. Have you ever listened to the birds while you are still in bed and there is no other sound?Specially in winters when it is unusually silent in the early morning. Its beautiful.

The Day.

2010-08-16T19:57:00.005+10:00

After 131 days, I have nothing (or too much??) but this.

My first monsoon in Delhi. Not bad!!! Not bad at all.

Life's a climb!!

2010-04-08T18:02:00.000+10:00

"It's the climb"

I can almost see it

That dream I am dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make

feels lost with no direction

My faith is shaking.

But I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down

But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it

But these are the moments that

I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong

Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be a uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb.

Keep on moving, keep climbing

Keep the faith, baby

It's all about, it's all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith.

- Song by Jessie Alexander and Jon Mabe

Best Moments!

2010-01-17T18:29:00.000+11:00

I received an e-mail from one of my friends which I can't help but share with you.

BEST MOMENTS IN LIFE!!

1. To fall in LOVE.

2. To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.

3. To go for a vacation to some pretty place.

4. To listen to your favorite song on the radio.

5. To go to bed and listen while it rains outside.

6. To leave the shower and find the towel is warm.

7. To clear your last exam.

8. To recieve a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but want to.

9. To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year.

10. To laugh at yourself looking at the mirror, making faces.

11. To laugh without reasons.

12. To accidently hear somebody say something good about you.

13. To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.

14. To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.

15. To be part of a team.

16. To watch the sunset from a hill top.

17. To feel butterflies in the stomach everytime you see that person.

18. To use a sweater of the person you like and find that it smells of their perfume.

19. To take an evening walk along the beach.

20. To laugh..laugh.. and laugh..remembering stupid things done with friends.

P.S My personal bests : #5, 9 and 13.

Tell me yours.

On the MOVE!

2010-01-12T05:40:00.001+11:00

Now that its time to move again, the good thing is, this time the move is to my homeland. I haven't stayed in one place for more than a year in last 3.5 years. Some stays as short as 3 months and longest been 1 year. I did not miss my country as I expected when I came here, thanks to amazingly friendly people and very calm environment of small towns. Now when its time to leave "Amercia", I can't help but think about all the things I am going to miss.

1. American TV (Oh yes! I got addicted to english TV after coming here (Damn! Indian "saas-bahu" dramas. Its time we change, I mean the Indian TV, not me ;))

2. Fresh mornings and beautiful evenings (wish India was less polluted)

3. Roads (Definitely..no more road trips. Not in India, anyway.)

4. Weather (Can't imagine the heat I am going to suffer)

5. Shopping (It is so much fun to shop here with awesome customer service and genuine products and "sales" :D)

But on brighter side, I am going to have lot more fun.

1. Family (No better thing in world than being with one's family)

2. Food, food and more delicious spicy food. (God! I missed that)

3. I would get to drive a two-wheeler again (If only I could manage to drive in ever worsening traffic)

4. I would get to enjoy the rain (with fried-chatpat snacks :D), which I haven't in last 3 years.

5. Hmmm..(Is it weird that I have more things that I am going to miss than what I would enjoy?)

Anyway, I am hoping to get adjusted soon, with my heart being "INDIAN".

Cya all the soonest.

Looking back and "forward"

2009-12-29T19:25:00.000+11:00

This post was over due. I have been traveling a lot lately which kept me from sitting down and pen down my thoughts. Finally I am home, tired but happy, back to routine. (Though the holidays are still on :D). Had a great trip to LA and San Diego with friends and family. This was the most enjoyable (if not the best) Christmas, so far, in US (Only thing I missed, and terribly missed, was snow). Can't wait for New Year.

2009 kind of passed a lot faster. It was the happiest in recent years and very full-filling. I got back to my roots and felt satisfied in anything and everything I did. Traveled the most. From one coast of America to another. Crossed three oceans - Pacific, Atlantic, Indian and back to Pacific) . Reconnected with old friends and made new ones. Developed new interests (including "video games", thanks to wii). And took a major decision which would change everything that's me if it goes all right (details might take another year to work out though, keeping my fingers crossed, wait up!!). All in all, 2009 proved to be a productive one.

I would give 2009 a solid "A" (as far as "I" am concerned). Hoping for a better one next year (many celebrations to come :)).

Happy Holidays to you all.

Cya soon!

Chao!

Lies!

2009-09-16T15:04:00.001+10:00

There was a time when I used to despise lies and liars. I was in a notion that if you say truth, you have nothing to lose. I believed that there is no excuse for a lie. You must, at any cost, all the time, tell truth. That was, when I was in college. And I had a friend, a very close friend, who disagreed. He always thought that truth doesn't always help. Truth destroys. I hated it when he lied for fun, with no apparent reason, when it was totally unnecessary. I argued a lot on the issue. And then time passed.

I could imagine him smiling, now, when I would say that I agree with him. That truth isn't always the best policy. In the last 5 years, my life changed completely. I had many experiences. Happy and sad. Learning and terrible. And one thing that I realized is that sometimes, a LIE can save your life. A simple lie, can make your life easy without hurting anyone, of course. A lie can give you a precious moment of happiness. And sometimes, it becomes necessary to lie. I must confess I have lied in need, a lot. And I must confess to him that I lied to him too. (Which I seem to regret till date). But now, I think it would be wise to continue with that lie as truth could be hurtful.

Truth is bitter, as they say. So why not avoid the bitterness if it is not hurting anyone.

Am I being a jerk??

I love: Life

2009-09-13T16:18:00.000+10:00

I am thinking about: relationships; how complex they are.

I want: to get wet in the drizzle.

I wish: I could say what I want to whom I want.

I wonder: If I could ever be my old self?

I regret: hiding my feelings at many occasions.

I can't: hate anyone.

I am: exhausted.

I dance: on my own tune. Literally!

I sing: for my love. :)

I need: a vacation with mom, dad and Ruchi. Like old times.

I cry: less often now.

I make: pretty nice chole. :p

I write: mostly when I am upset.

I confuse: dates.

I miss: Indore.

I try: to think a lil less.

I know: I am basically a nice person. :)

I will: go to bed now.

It's Not About the Bike

2009-09-03T15:18:00.000+10:00

"I want to die at a hundred years old with an American flag on my back and the star of Texas on my helmet, after screaming down an Alpine descent on a bicycle at 75 miles per hour. I want to cross one last finish line as my stud wife and my ten children applaud, and then I want to lie down in a field of those famous French sunflowers and gracefully expire, the perfect contradiction to my once-anticipated poignant early demise.

A slow death is not for me. I don't do anything slow, not even breathe. I do everything at a fast cadence: eat fast, sleep fast".

Finally I finished reading "It's not about the bike", an autobiography by Lance Armstrong with Sally Jenkins. And I must admit, this is one of the best, most inspiring books I have read. It is so beautifully written that I felt like I was talking to Lance. I could feel his pain when he underwent chemo, and his struggle to have a normal "after" life. I could feel his passion during the Tour and the joy after winning it. His fight with cancer and his passion for cycling is heart melting. His journey from an ordinary school boy to a 7 time champion of Tour De France is highly motivational and inspiring.

Being a survivor of testicular cancer and still winning the most difficult race for 7 consecutive years is legendary. He a true warrior. His story compels to think that why do we give up so easily?

Home away from Home

2009-08-16T15:35:00.000+10:00

Today for the first time I did not miss India. We have been in USA for about 2 years now and it has become a part of routine to miss home. But today, after visiting the Janmashtami Celebartions at Hindu Temple of Livermore, I felt like in India. I won't say that I was surprised seeing a large gathering there but I was truly overwhelmed. We had to wait 2 hrs in line for darshan and another 45 mins for prasadam. But every second was so peaceful. Faith and devotion of everyone there was heartwarming. People sitting on the floor to listen to the Bhajans. Children enjoying the devotional music. Cultural dance. Long queues. It was nothing I never saw before. But I had never imagined this kind of atmosphere in America. We have lived near Chicago for a year, and city has some of the biggest and most lavish temples in USA but I never got to attend any function or celebration there. This was my first time and was a great experience. I am looking forward to more such occasions.

Vande Mataram!!

2009-08-15T11:25:00.001+10:00

On the eve of Independence Celebration I can't help but miss my "student" days. I never missed any 15th Aug in school and in college. Unlike school, it was not mandatory in college but that din't kill my spirit. And luckily I had some friends who were like me and kept my spirits high in college too. (Thanks Preeti, Rashmi, Sneha and Divya. Miss you guys more than ever.) After my college ended, next year, I went to my cousin's school to attend the function.

I have always loved the patriotic songs playing in the ground (sound from loudspeaker is only pleasant on this one occasion). I loved the performances - songs, skits, speeches and cultural dances. Though I never participated in one. Or may be once, if my memory serves good. And for some reason I never ate the the sweets that were distributed after the function. I used to take 'em home and give to my sis or parents.

After coming from school/college I used to watch the re-telecast of the function in Delhi. Babaji (my grandpa) and me used to celebrate 15th Aug and 26th Jan like all other festivals. He used to wait for us to come from school with "tri-color" and then we would perform a lil ceremony at home. (Miss you so much Babaji). Papa would bring sweets from office. Ruchi was never that enthusiastic but she always took part in what I did. (Though she was among the ones, reluctant to attend the school function).

Now that its been 4 years since my student life ended and 3 years since my last Independence Day function, and I have been out of country ever since on all my 15th Aug, I miss everything. I wish to attend these functions once again. re-join the spirit.

HAVE A VERY HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

"RESPECT THE FREEDOM"

Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having right to do what we ought. - Pope John Paul II

Ye Hausla - DOR

2009-08-13T03:32:00.000+10:00

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,

Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Manzil Muskil To Kya,

Bundla Sahil To Kya,

Tanha Ye Dil To Kya

Ho Hooo

Raah Pe Kante Bikhre Agar,

Uspe To Phir Bhi Chalna Hi Hai,

Saam Chhupale Suraj Magar,

Raat Ko Ek Din Dhalana Hi Hai,

Rut Ye Tal Jayegi,

Himmat Rang Layegi,

Subha Phir Aayegi

Hoooo

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,

Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Hogi Hame To Rehmat Ada,

Dhup Kategi Saaye Tale,

Apni Khuda Se Hai Ye Dua,

Manzil Lagale Humko Gale

Zurrat So Baar Rahe,

Uncha Ikraar Rahe,

Zinda Har Pyar Rahe

Hoooo

Yeh Hosla Kaise Juke,

Yeh Aarzoo Kaise Ruke

Real Dream!!

2009-08-09T15:58:00.001+10:00

I haven't felt more lethargic and weak(physically) in ages. It was the worst Saturday in months. I am not sick but I feel sick. I am not sad but I feel sad. And that one dream, I had two days ago is still so fresh in mind that it is making me gloomy.

Day before yesterday, I had this dream. I was crying. (I guess, its because its been so long since I cried in real). I was crying for some reason I don't feel appropriate to mention here. And then one of my friends called someone to console me. And when that person arrived, I woke up. And I don't remember feeling any dream more real than this one. I woke up with sinking heart. I wasn't crying but I was depressed. Choked. Lump in throat. Butterflies in stomach. And that mood hasn't quite left me.

Do these dreams mean anything??

A Special Friend

2009-08-02T15:56:00.000+10:00

Today on Friendship day, I would like to dedicate this post to a girl who was very close to me until her untimely demise, 5 years ago. The loss left a hole in me and after all these years I still can't believe she's gone. This might sound strange, but every year around her birthdate (Dec 6th) I dream of her very often. Its like she is trying to tell me that she's still with me. There for me.

Epitome of simplicity and modesty. She had this child like innocence but at the same time she was real mature. She understood me so well that sometimes I felt like she knew me more than I did myself. We were in same class in school for 6 years. She was my bench-mate for 2 years. But our friendship grew stronger only after finishing school. She inspired me and encouraged me and she was one of the reasons I got admission in engineering. Honest hard worker and very determined. She had this aura around, a charm that anyone would be fascinated and attracted towards her. She was the most polite person I ever met. Compassionate and kind. Always there for friend.

She used to give me two cards for birthday. One on my official (on paper bithday) and one on my actual one. Two cards for friendship day, always with roses. Two cards on Valentine's Day, with roses. I never understood and never asked the reason for "two"?. And the words she wrote in those cards were so touching and genuine that I couldn't help but feel special, having a friend like her.

More than a friend, she was like a part of me. On dull days, I used to sit with her, hold her hands and talk. Pour my heart out and she always listened to me with great patience. She knew how to make her surroundings cheerful. She was a quiet kind of girl, but that never fading smile of hers always brightened everything. I wish I could have had more time with her.

I miss you, TINA.

Rest in Peace. God Bless!!

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S" 4

2009-07-30T14:08:00.000+10:00

She has the most beautiful name among my friends. And very aptly named she is a HAPPY girl. It would be wrong to say that I know her well or vice-versa. But after all these years of no contact and almost no history, now I feel real connected to her. She is a synonym to "cool" and her philosophy of life and struggles is something we all need to adopt. In this little time of re-connection she has taught me so many things and the best being "when to let go". (And believe me, honey, I can't thank you enough for it).

My eyes brighten and my lips curl into a smile with just a mail or message from her. I look forward to every new post in her journal. She has a very effective way of writing. Her words make the most complex emotion/situation look so easy and simple and normal that you can't help but relate to it.

Utterly gorgeous with a heartwarming smile, confident and modest, she is a treasure.

I wish everyone a friend like her. A friend like "NANDITA".

Wish to know you more, sweetheart.

Lots of love!!

50 Things by Ben Jones

2009-07-25T03:58:00.000+10:00

I read this in Pritesh's blog (a friend of friend) and loved it so much that I could not help but post it here. Enjoy!

Ben Jones | August 23, 2006

"50 Things"

Dear Class of 2010,

This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).

As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.

Here goes...

Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
All-nighters are entirely overrated.
For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
Take risks.
Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
Your health and safety are more important than anything.
Ask for help. Often.
Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.

Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

-B

Unsaid!

2009-07-20T09:51:00.000+10:00

Days are becoming weeks and weeks turning into months. Everything around is very usual. No happenings, no hop-n-pop. Summer is at full bloom and the sun burning everything in the way. Streets remain deserted in the afternoon and evenings see just some people hanging around the corner. City sleeps tight at night and then another morning brings the heat. Lonliness more echoing but plesant. Like silence is trying to say something. Something that was lost in the voices. Deciphering the words of calm, I hear my soul. It is me. But what am I saying??

Did you??

2009-07-14T17:01:00.000+10:00

I read these "striking" questions and the post in some blog and can't stop thinking about it.

"It takes time to regain the relationship, the happy memories, the smiles and the trust. How long? No one knows… At least not for the time being… not for the moment that they are together. It just flashes too much memories…

Appearing

Re-appearing

Just like yesterday

Injury causes wound- Wound heal-Scar left behind… over the years, a scar is still a scar.

Did you ever think about how much you can trust a person?

Did you ever be wary of anyone?

Did you ever pretend to be nice to a person that you don’t feel like being nice to?

Did you ever believe of the saying ”once bitten twice shy”?

Did you ever have nothing to talk to a person?

Did you?

Did you?"

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S" 3

2009-07-13T05:10:00.000+10:00

He knows how to keep his cool but doesn't like being taken for granted. Thrives to become a better human being (and is an amazing person). Would do anything for the ones he is close to. You would never meet someone more modest. Knows how to make his weakness his strength. And would win your heart the very moment you meet him.

SAMEER - as cool as his name.

My "lab partner" of four years, roll no. 2 (techincally 1) and my best friend. He knows exactly what to say when I am low. He knows how to make me smile, no matter how sad I am. I have shared my laughs and my tears with him. He was the one who kept me going when I absolutely hated going to college. He was always there, and is still there. He knows me better than anyone else. He is "the voice" to my music, literally.

I miss the vivas I gave with him, lab files we made with joint efforts, computer labs (struggling with Ankit in between), that "guitar" session and the most memorable KKHH story. The trip to Bhopal. Oh! I miss those days.

When he says "I feel comfortable with you, 'cause you feel comfortable with me", I know I am the luckiest person. I admire the way he deals with life. He knows the importance of being practical and real. He does have dreams and he works his way towards them but is not obsessed with 'em. I have learned to "let go", when it is time to let go, only from him. He is a joy to be around.

I remember, he was the only one in our class who was in the good books of every single person. I cannot imagine anyone having anything against him. He is the sweetest guy ever. I have never seen him loose his temper, never.

Sometimes I feel I had very little time with him. College days were gone before we knew it and then we never got the chance to sit and talk like the old days. Sing and dance (Oh yes! Did I mention, the guy has got the moves :)) and play (cards, in the classroom :D) like we did in college days. Go on trips without being tensed about any paper.

I wish I could just get some time with him, to sit and look back into all those happy times. Make our cute lil story more interesting. Complete our song.

But anyway, small world and long lives. We will meet soon. Until then, I want to thank him for being on my side all the time and making my life blissful. For making me SMILE. (Special thanks due, when we meet :D)

Love ya, Sameer.

Wish you everything "you wish". :)

P.S. Bhoolega dil, jis din tumhe, woh din zindagi ka aakhri din hoga. :)

I got the new guitar and missing you so much now. Wish you were here to sing this one for me.

We miss you, Michael!!

2009-07-08T04:48:00.000+10:00

Smile

tho' your heart is aching

smile

even tho' it's breaking

when there are clouds in the sky

you'll get by

if you

smile through your fear and sorrow

smile and maybe tomorrow

you'll see the sun come shining thru for you.

Light up your face with gladness

hide ev'ry trace of sadness

altho' a tear maybe ever so near

that's the time you must keep on trying

smile

what's the use of crying

you'll find that life is stillworth while

if you'll just smile.

This song written by Charlie Chaplin was the favorite of Michael Jackson. In his memory, SMILE. You will always be missed. Rest in Peace, Michael.

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S" 2

2009-07-04T01:19:00.000+10:00

When can having loving, caring and concerned parents be an additional bliss (apart from a million others)? When their concern and sense of protection lands you the most beautiful friendship.

I was in std 12th and was preparing for my engineering entrance test. I used to go to Chaturvedi Sir for Physics classes. We were around 7 people in my batch (Neha, Surbhi, Anoop, Nitin G, other Nitin, I and one tall guy whose name I can't remember now. Sorry, if I am missing anyone). Our classes were scheduled at night concluding at around 8:30 - 9:00 pm. And the place was little far from where I lived. So, obviously my parents were worried. But then they found the rest in the thought that Anoop would be going with me (on his bike, kinda accompanying me). And I was glad too to have someone.

At first, he seemed a lil unapproachable. A lil consumed in himself. Highly ambitious (in a great way). When in class, he used to be the most alert one and interesting one too. On our way back, he mostly used to be just silent and listen to my useless rants. And then on day, when we "agreed" to be friends (which sounds strange), my whole world changed. I had found a friend, I had never imagined.

And then, we got in the same college. And I saw a new side of him. He became more of a Guru to me. A guide who had solutions to almost all my questions and problems. He was always there as an amazing listener. He always knew what to say and when. When with him, I always felt the power of "Hope and Belief. "

He is the most daring among all my friends. (I still wonder Anoop, how you did the mud crawling, caving stuff). A budding photographer. And an addict. Yep, an Internet Addict. He spends more time with his laptop than with human (tell me if I am wrong Anoop :D). He is a patient listener and at the same time can talk on almost any topic. And sometimes when I listen to him (or read his thoughts in blog) I feel he could be a promising politician (and him being an ex-president of Indian Cultural association at his campus proves my point). Very firm and determined and a lil rebel (which we need desperately). One thing that actually surprised me was that he can dance too. I mean there isn't anything is doesn't do or can't do. (I gotta learn some skills from you mate, eh??)

You know, I can go on and on writing about him. But that even would not be enough. So, make all past tenses I used in the post to present tense (as he still is the same Awesome adventurous ANOOP). And imagine the most wonderful friend and you will see him.

Thanks dear for making my life easier at every step.

And wish you all the success and happiness.

Love!!

P.S. This pic here is Anoop's work.

@Anoop- I miss solving Physics problems with you.

Dull Ending

2009-06-30T14:20:00.000+10:00

It was a very dull day. Dull because I did not do anything worth. Dull because I spent most of my day sitting on the couch and doing useless stuff (except for the Spanish assignment). Dull because of the heat and throbbing headache which made it worse (but thankfully subsided because of the cool of a/c). And dull because even now I am watching TV (actually just looking at it from time to time), a one hour program about extreme water-parks (which is supposed to be interesting but for some reasons, isn't, right now). Looking forward to a (hopefully) better day tomorrow.

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S" 1

2009-06-29T15:25:00.007+10:00

It was the start of my middle school days when I started to understand what "Friend" means. And the person who made me realize the importance of having a friend became an eternal part of my life.

I had changed the school that year. From a co-ed to all girls school. Before that most of my "gang" were boys. Almost all of them. So, suddenly in std 6th, I was surrounded with girls. The same year, another girl transferred to my "new" class, another "new" admission. And I wonder if this similarity became the ground of our bond. We were in the same class only for one academic year and then she moved to another city. But those few months were the best of my school days. "Prem" as I called her (interesting part of our story), MUDITA is a true "joy", (as her name suggests), for everyone around. A dreamer and an achiever. I don't remember if she came up with this or who did, but Mudita "The Great" suits her aptly. I have know her as a brave and determined girl, which, I believe is the key to her success. Her modesty adds to her kind and loving personality. An amazingly talented girl, very effective with words. Dimensions of her writing, more on poetic side, still amazes me. Gifted with the combination of artistic and technical mind (and beauty, of course), the girl is here to make a difference. And very soon we would be witnessing it. Like she says "aaj tumne jaana hai, kal duniya bhi jaanegi" (Excuse me sweetie, if I mixed up the words).

I cherish the lunch breaks, and "class prefect" sessions with her. Those funny bollywood stories and gossips. Chalk fights and some minor disagreements. Yes, and in that small time, we actually managed to have a "silence" fight for a couple of months. God! we were idiots. And was it the same year with those thefts in "only" our "classroom"?? The memorable "Choral Dam" picnic. Oh! what days!!

Despite all the physical distances and time, I knew that she was there if I needed her and will always be there. I will treasure her till the end and beyond. And consider myself the luckiest to have her in my life. Thank you so much, love. Wish you all the happiness and success in the world. Amen!!

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S"

2009-06-29T09:21:00.008+10:00

I having been thinking of writing a post about all my friends who came through for me in times of need. I am one of the few lucky people to have the greatest friends. And then I realized I could not possibly mention them all in a single post. So, I would introduce them in a series of posts, "F.R.I.E.N.D.S", telling you about them and how they influenced my life.

This is for all you FRIENDS. :)

"So no one told you, life was going to be this way.

Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear,

Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.

I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.

I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too."

Waiting!!

2009-06-25T05:11:00.003+10:00

I like to be alone, but I don't want to be. I want to talk but no one is around to listen. My thoughts echo and then get lost in the emptiness. Screams choked up with fear. Fear of losing myself. Silence around is frightening. Light is fading and the darkness creeping in. The stillness is absorbing the last hope out of me. The river of depression pressing me down, harder every moment.

And then I feel the dawn and I wish I could survive until then.

"Unusual" is good, often.

2009-06-22T11:09:00.005+10:00

Today, I actually enjoyed The Shopping Therapy. Normally I don't like shopping. In fact, I hate going shopping. (Well, I do like new stuffs and clothes, and everything else, don't get me wrong. Its just, hanging at shops/malls for long irritates me. Lucky him. ;)) Too much variety and choice make me overwhelmed and then most of the time I end up getting out of the shop empty-ended. Mostly I buy stuff which catches my eye almost instantly. Not a lot of thought I put in it. But today, I actually tried to figure how I would look in the dress, (which I was considering), took the trial and then got it. In fact, I went to the fitting room a couple of times, which is very unusual for me. And then got some pretty (and) good summer clothes. Thanks Ritesh for letting me buy whatever I wanted and hanging in there for me while I shopped like girls. :D

"Some" Day!!

2009-06-18T07:01:00.009+10:00

Cold breezy morning at the library's outdoor cafe with Enrique Iglesias and Adolf Hitler, not a very usual combination. But everything about this morning made it one of the best in a long time. Sitting there alone, feeling the cool in the atmosphere, I could smell the air. The water in the air. I was enjoying the ocasional shivers due to chilly wind. For some reasons I felt butterflies of joy in the stomach. Watching all those kids playing around and waiting for their story time reminded me of my childhood. People enjoying coffee and discussing politics and local town gossips. I did read a few chapters of Mein Kampf, but honestly - my mind was not into it. (And then Hitler turned out to be a difficult author to understand). I missed taking Twilight with me. After coming home, I found myself singing out loud, to myself, after a very long time. And it really felt good; more than good; ecstatic. Then watched "Sweet Home Alabama", a feel good movie, I always like. And this is just the afternoon. I am looking forward to what is in store for the evening with still blissful weather and cheerful mood.

India works!!

2009-06-12T10:00:00.004+10:00

Finally I got to see Delhi 6, the so called documentary. And I must say, unlike most of my friends and family, I liked the movie quite a bit. How it shows Delhi, is beautiful, true and sadly bitter (towards the end).

When in the middle of Ramleela "Delhi 6 ki MLA tashreef laati hai" - hilarious. And I loved the sequence with cow giving birth in the middle of the road and "sick" dadima gets well. Just loved the part where the ladies of the family have that brick removed from the wall to talk to each other without their husbands knowing. Movie showed the commercialization of media and the crap of news we have now on "24 hour NEWS Channel". Well, that sure was entertaining in the film with the "kala bandar" story. And of course, the climax was good, but there, I felt it could be better with a strong script.

The "most catchy" part of the movie for me was "Yahan roti nahi hai, isliye pyar se guzara karte hain. Chote ghar hain, isliye dil bada hone ka dawa karte hain. Nal paani kam deta hai, bansuri jayda sunata hai." "Kaise door rahen, ye sab apna hai. Acchaiyan hain toh apni hai, kamiyan hain toh apni hai. India works. The people make it work. Wahan (America) khidki kholo toh hawa videshi hai".

This whole part is so touching. It is probably because I am here in America. And I miss my home. Yes, I do miss my home. I miss INDIA.

Kafila Saath aur Safar Tanha!!

2009-06-03T03:42:00.004+10:00

I received this mail from a very close friend this morning which actually brought tears to my eyes. Most of us would find the mail very related to our lives.

Main aur meri Tanhayi

Here i am sitting in my office @ night...

Thinking hard about life

How it changed from a maverick collage life to strict professional life.

How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks

but then why it gives less happiness..

How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe

but then why there are less people to use them..

How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger

But then why there is less hunger..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night...

Thinking hard about life

How it changed...

How a bike always in reserve changed to bike always on

but then why there are less places to go on..

How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day

but then why its feels like shop is far away..

How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package

but then why there are less calls & more messages..

How a general class journey changed to Flight journey

But then why there are less vacations for enjoyment..

How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop

but then why there is less time to put it on..

How a small bunch of friends changed to office mate

But then why we always feel lonely n miss those college friends..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night...

Thinking hard about life

How it changed..... How it changed....

Escape!

2009-05-21T13:57:00.005+10:00

Is there any way, any place to run away from everything?? From all the responsibilities, and stress that come with 'em. From everyone who hurt you, knowingly and/or unknowingly. From those who try to bind your freedom. From those who don't care about you but pretend they do. From all the hustle and chaos. From unwanted relations and obligations.

In the lap of solitude and solace. Somewhere where you need no one. Where you can do what your heart says. Where no one judge your every action and no one asks what you don't want to say. Where you do not need to give explanations. Where you can follow yourself. Love yourself.

I *so* want to go there.

Nostalgic!!

2009-05-15T04:24:00.006+10:00

I love the days when they start with the happy memories. And sadly, not many of such days happen.

I hate to admit it, but my college days were not the happiest of times. But there were few people, who made even those days memorable. They were an integral part of my life then. And I guess, they still are, no matter what the distances are, now. I miss being with them, talking to them, sharing my life with them. Spoke to one such person this morning. He is someone who influenced my life more than I admit and realize. Whatever small I achieved in life, I owe a lot of it to him. He taught me some of the best lessons of life, in good way and otherwise. We shared the best times and the worst. And now after all these years, I don't know where we stand in our relation, but his friendship gave me some strength, that is still with me. And will be with me forever.

Thanks Ankit!!

A Journey into the Mountains!!

2009-05-13T10:28:00.004+10:00

I normally don't like the heat. But this last trip to UTAH canyons burnt me and even then I did not want to finish it so soon.
Bright sun, gushing river through the mighty mountains, natural bridges, arches, hoodoos, red sandstone slopes and more. The place was one of the best nature's paradise.
We started our trip on Friday afternoon around 2:00 pm. Our first destination was Springdale, UT, the entrance to the Zion canyon. It was 700 mi drive. And the adventure begun as soon as we started. When we called the hotel to confirm the reservation, we discovered that they have booked us for June instead of May 8th to May 11th. So, no hotel reservation for us :( But then the guys figured out the problem, spoke to the manager and got us the rooms. We reached there at around 3:00 am local time. Got the keys from the reception and went to the room. The reception guy told us that we had two interconnected rooms. So we tried to open the first one, only to discover that it was already occupied. The occupants called 911 (the police). Before the police arrived we discovered that the reception guy gave us the wrong room no. So, another mis-adventure in the middle of the night. But again thankfully the neighbors realized that it was all a mis-communication and the cop did not bother much. But he did took a look around. So finally we went to bed only after 4 am.

Started the next morning at 11 am. Was a hot day. Sun real bright. We took the Zion park shuttle which took us around the park. This was the first time I experienced nature raw and untouched. We hiked some trails and climbed some rocks. But because of the lack of time and proper gear, did not actually hiked the longer trails. Before we knew the day was gone. And we were tired and drained. And I had some problem with the motion sickness as we drove a lot that day too. So went back to the room. But unfortunately did not get a very good sleep that night. Had to shift to another room as we booked the rooms at last minute. So.. not the best conclusion for the day.

Next day started a lil early and roamed around the town for a while and then reached the Bryce canyon only after 2 pm, as it was another 200 mi from there. But all the driving seemed worth as soon as we reached the first view point, the Rainbow point. It was like a heaven. Serene, peaceful, like a touch of divine. And thankfully wasn't as hot as the previous day. Breeze was cool. And then each view point was better than the previous one. The Canyon formed after millions of years of erosion, the river running through it, natural bridges and the hoodos, true marvels. It was just mystic. Stunning, beautiful. I felt at short of words. The red sandstone structures, and the sunning making everything look bright and vibrant. For one moment I realized, no matter how much we try to win over nature, we can never beat it. Some power is there, that keeps it eternal and mortal. We did miss the sunset though, as we had to drive back before it was too late.

And like the previous day, we had to move to another hotel. But it was my birthday the next day, so we decided to move and then celebrate it at some restaurant. We were already late and reached applebee's only after 10 pm. And then, another stroke... they declined to serve me drinks as I forgot to carry my ID. And the one I had at the time was expired. So we had to convince the manager that I am eligible to consume alcohol. And fortunately, he agreed at last. So we had a nice time there. They sang their Bday song for me. And we were the last customers to leave the restaurant. So the day ended well.

Next day, before leaving, we played a round of mini golf, complimentary from the hotel we stayed in. I ended second last. Not bad for a beginner. :D And then left for the return journey of another 12 hrs.

Over all- GREAT VACATION!! And a Wonderful Birthday!!
Wish more like this one.

One Fine Day!!

2009-05-05T05:26:00.003+10:00

Some days are more beautiful than others. You wake up full of joy. And the best part, you don't know the reason. Go out and a complete stranger would make your day even better by greeting you with a warm smile. And you realize what a smile could do. You love the sunshine, bright and energetic. You love the breeze, cool and soothing. Walking on the streets, you feel freedom. You don't care to reach the end. You love the journey. And you wish, the day never end.

Wanna let it go!!

2009-04-28T11:08:00.004+10:00

Expression is difficult when there is a fear. And very often the two come in a pack.

I always wonder, why I am not able to fully express how I feel, even to my loved ones. Well, one, I love them and do not want them hurt. Two, I think I am not strong enough to face rejection (which is mostly the case). Or may be, I am not. But there might be another reasons. I don't feel safe. I am afraid of being misunderstood. I fear of getting ignored. And whatever the reason is, it hurts. But what hurts the most it keeping it all to myself. But it is not easy to let things go, is it??

Illusion..

2009-04-17T16:47:00.003+10:00

Some days, I wake up thinking what I want. Those days, I look back and I realize I have had everything I needed and wanted. But there is still that emptiness, surrounding me, that makes me restless. A desire to accomplish, which was there, and now gone, left a hole. And another hole made by some vanished dreams. Beautiful nights and energizing days, all seem to be the same now. I wander aimlessly in thoughts, wondering and looking for those days. Looking for myself. Was I living in a dream, or is it a dream now? Everything seems to be fading. I look for peace. I look for solitude... But all I could find is , myself among strangers.

Talk to yourself!

2009-04-07T15:58:00.006+10:00

Some days you want to let it out. Things you have been hiding for so long. You look for someone to hear you. You look around, with the hope of finding someone who would not judge you. Someone who would only listen to, what you have to say and give all the comfort and love you need, without being a critic. You wish for that someone to be biased (though most of us would not admit this). You wish that he/she would agree with you, in all what you have to say. You feel a need to be right. Just this one time, you think and you wish to be "I-know-I-am-right". You look for the reasons. You have feelings, you yourself do not want to agree with. You want and need someone who would make 'you' feel wanted.

In those times, most of the time, you wont find that someone. (Even if you do, you might not be able to pour your heart out). And then you would have only, YOU. You would have to be your own guide and you would have to be your own listener.

If this is so, why wait for someone at the first place? Why not talk to yourself at the very beginning? Why hide things from yourself when you know you would have to face it sooner or later.? Why not accept life as it comes? Wouldn't it be wiser to be honest with yourself right from the start??

It's a good thing getting older

2009-03-31T04:37:00.004+11:00

Another sleepless night and drowsy start of the day. Woke up at 3:00 am and did everything I could to kill time. And now my eyes are droopy. But today I am trying not to sleep in the afternoon so that I would sleep good at night.

As it is most of the time, I have nothing interesting to share but the travel log and useless thoughts. On my flight back to CA, as I said, I had a very comfortable time. One reason being Brad Pitt. Ahh..!! Only his name is enough to make me smile ;) Yeah.. Call me crazy or whatever. So, I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (which I had been trying ever since it was released). I wouldn't call it the best movie of the year but it sure was one hell of a movie. Ace acting, beautiful script, powerful storyline and strong direction. Inspired by the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, it is an unusual narration. I loved the way the story was put on screen. Being a big fan of Brad, I saw the movie coz of him, but it was worth every minute. And the best part - it makes you believe, how it is a great thing to get older. You could identify with all the emotions and circumstances. Another thing that made me overwhelmed was the backward clock, which becomes the last frame of the movie and reminds you of the past.

Fighting Jet-Lag

2009-03-30T01:20:00.003+11:00

Worse thing about crossing the oceans - Jet-lag. I landed yesterday afternoon and have been trying to adjust since then.

This journey was by far the most comfortable air travel, I have done in last 3 years. And I must say, after traveling with 5 international air liners, no one can beat Singapore Airline's services. Other than the long travel of more than 24 hours, everything else was great, including the food. I was served Indian veg food all through my journey. And believe me, it was no less than any 5 star hotel food in India. Its important to have nice food on long journeys.. eh! :D

So, I slept for 2 hours in the afternoon yesterday and had been trying to kill time all night as was not able to sleep. Its morning now and I am drowsy. This really kills you. Not been able to sleep on time, even if it is only for a day or two. I am hoping to get used to the new timing soon. And if not, you would be hearing from me, more often..

Leaving on a JET PLANE!!

2009-03-22T00:13:00.003+11:00

Time does have wings. I was only making plans and dreaming about my visit to India 5 weeks ago and now the trip is almost over and its time cross Pacific again. This trip was filled with mixed feelings. Some disappointments and many adventures. Many smiles and few tears. Reunions, and departings. Lot of travel (a lot). Shopping (which I absoultely hate). Social visits and unwanted (and unnecessary) advices and suggestions. Family gatherings and meeting old friends. Food.. (aahhh.. I am gonna miss this part "the most").

And I realized that I have not stayed at a place for more than one weekend. I have not been at the same place (city) for two consecutive weekends.SFO->Hyderabad->Nagpur->Indore->Jaipur->Delhi->Jaipur->Indore->Mumbai->Hyderabad->Tuljapur (going tomorrow)->Hyderabad and finally to SFO. Quite a journey. Was really hectic and tiring but was worth to every minute. And now is the worst part of any trip to India. Packing for the return. God!! I am so overwhelmed and the place is a mess with stuff all around. And I am yet to start.

I was missing my laptop and internet and finally got the chance and time to pen down my thoughts (which I failed to do actually). But now its time to wrap up this one and get back to work. Will be seeing you soon with more travel log. Ciao!!

P.S. - I have been listening to this song over and over ever since I came here.

All my bags are packed,

I'm ready to go

I'm standin' here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.

But the dawn is breakin',

it's early morn

The taxi's waitin',

he's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go.

Divine Power!

2009-02-16T16:32:00.006+11:00

Today I felt the presence of divine. And it was a feeling I thought I lost long ago. We were planing to go to Vaishno Devi. And all the plans were in dilemma. Yes-No-Yes-No, we were not able to decide whether to go or not. And this morning we decided to cancel it. I was lil upset as I wanted to go so badly.

I had my doctor's appointment and so I went there after finishing all the routine work. This was my second appointment of the week. When I went last time, I did not notice the picture I did today. I was waiting for the doc and suddenly noticed the picture of Durga Ma. That was a sign I thought. I closed my eyes and prayed for a while. Apologized for not being able to go to Vaishno Devi. Asked for everything to get better. And came back home.

As soon as I entered my place, papaji was on call with my dad and he told me that the plan for Vaishno Devi is still on. And I realized the power. The feeling was so intense that I got overwhelmed.

There was nothing special in all this. I just felt the presence, the sign, and wanted to share with someone.

Breaking Break!

2009-02-15T16:20:00.008+11:00

I have been trying to write something for long. Every time I try to post here I feel, "I should better keep this to myself". And this feeling is not for any particular post/event/memory, but for everything I pen down. I am more comfortable expressing my feeling in writing rather than speaking to anyone. But this time, I don't know, even this comfort seems to be troubling me.

Since I came to India, things have been keeping me occupied. Family gatherings, social calls, evening outs, day to day work, which once I used to manage somehow, are now obligations. I never enjoyed large crowds, especially crowd with so many known faces; but now it has become worse. People constantly staring and observing me. How US has changed me. How the difference of culture has affected me. Everyone trying to judge me. All this is making me frustrated and I am hoping to escape from this and spend some quiet and peaceful time, just for me, in Indore. But that is another next to impossible thing as everyone there too is waiting to give me a grand welcome. All I need is some quality time with my family and friends, mom, Ruchi, but these social meetings are taking up all the time and I am afraid that by the time I would reach Indore, I would be so done that I would hardly be able to enjoy with my loved ones.

Why do people have to interfere in each and every asepect of our lives? Why can't they stay focused on there own matters (which certainly are many)? We all need ceratin privacy (even if we are social animals) and we do have a right to act and think however we want. One thing I really like in Wertern World is the freedom of living life on one's own terms (and not society's). And unlike, what prejuidice we have about the westeners, during my stay in US, I have learned that they too are equally social, co-operative, kind and generous.

I really hope, this phase would be over soon and I will get used to it and would be able to adjust with "traditional" society.

In Flight Entertainment

2009-01-28T05:53:00.002+11:00

I wrote this in my flight from Charlotte to San Francisco. (Because of no internet, I saved this as draft :D).

OUT OF BOREDOM

I hate long distance travel especially by air. I love hanging at the airports. But I absolutely hate flights. Have travelled a lot in the past two and a half years and now I am used to moving and changing places. But the thing I don’t like about moving is flights. I feel so restless sitting at a place for hours. Nothing much to do except the in-flight entertainment and if you can read (which I don’t like either (during travel)). And unfortunately this flight from Charlotte to San Francisco does not have any in-flight entertainment and I do not have any book (even if I want to read). It’s a 5 hour flight and as it was delayed at the time of taxi so now we would be on plane for about 6 hours. All I have is my laptop with 33% battery remaining, no internet and Ritesh made me clean the system (got rid of every single downloaded song and video) because of random scanning of systems at the airports for piracy and other stuff. So practically, this laptop isn’t of much use either. So I thought I will write something now and post it on my blog.

So after about 3 months of stay in Fayetteville, North Carolina, we are moving to Livermore, California. It is a small town near San Francisco (SFO). More like a sub-urban area of SFO. I always wanted to go to SFO. Golden Gate Bridge always fascinated me. And after watching Full House, it came in my top list (“Wake up San Francisco”). (Also I would be able to make a trip to Alcatraz prison (The Rock)). So, now, like people say, we would feel more close to India, as bay area is highly populated by Indians. That means a lot of Indian food and also a temple in our city. Weather here would be better than the two places (FDL and Fayetteville), we have stayed at, in USA.

My wish list – really long – The Rock, Hawaii, Grand Canyon, Yosemite National Park, Los Angles (seems most feasible, as my cousin stays there and is not very close from where we would be), Las Vegas (its more of Ritesh’s destination, but I don’t mind tagging along :D) and any other place I could visit. Well, let’s see how much I would be able to cover in 8-9 months.

What else! Hmm..

So we started at 11:30 am today for the airport. Our flight was at 2:30 pm EST to Charlotte. We reached Charlotte at around 3:30 pm. Our next flight to SFO was at 4:30pm. So in that 1 hour we had to have lunch (no meal in that 5 hr flight... US Airways sucks!!) and board another flight at another Gate. Funny thing: in that rush, we decided that when we will travel with kids, we would always keep at least 2 hours time between connecting flights. :D So we made it in time but then because of heavy traffic our flight was delayed in taxi. We only took off after 5:00 pm. And now when we would reach there, because of 3 hrs time zone difference it would be around 8:30pm (actual flight time being a little more than 5 hours). Three hours from now. And I am really bored. I took a nap and now don’t wanna sleep more as that would spoil my night. I made some sketches of people sitting around. Came out to be good. Looks like I am only out of practice.

And now, with only 20 mins of battery remaining in my laptop, I just now realized that if I am so bored in a 6 hours flight, what I would do in a 15 hour flight from New York to Mumbai. Well, I finally got the chance to visit my parents and in-laws in India. Though the sad part is Ritesh won’t be coming with me. But anyway. Ok, I guess the battery is out and I gotta close.

It was fun writing this (killed some of the time), thinking that some of you who follow my blog, would read and get bored themselves. (It is really fun sometimes to bore people, isn’t it?? :D) Cya then.. Ciao!

Saga Continues..

2009-01-23T01:55:00.004+11:00

After landing 3 Golden Globes, Slumdog Millionaire has now been nominated in 10 categories for Academy Awards (Oscar), out of which A R Rahman bagged 3 including, Best Original Score and Original Song (Jai Ho). It is a matter of great pride for India. Lets hope he gets all three and movie can win what it deserve. (13 Nominations to Brad's movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, made me happy too ;) )

Are you going to finish Strong?

2009-01-22T03:38:00.003+11:00

I saw this in Anoop's blog and could not find any reason to ignore it and not post here. Thanks Anoop for sharing this with us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqantZJ6WwM

Barack Hussien Obama - New Hopes, New Promises

2009-01-21T03:56:00.006+11:00

I have been in US for 17 months now and could connect to the day to day life and politics here. At the time of Presidential election, scene was like, in India (at the time of elections) but better. The Presidential debates were more genuine and to the point. Candidates talked about real issues instead of beating around the bush; they did publicity with some actual public issues; and Obama being first and only African American candidate and Hillary Clinton being the first woman candidate, there was a different kind of atmosphere. More tensed and divided. But as expected Obama won the primaries and finally the Presidential elections, making a HISTORY. The day, results were announced, we were in an African American majority area and the whole atmosphere was so cheerful and enthusiastic. It was something I had witnessed in India too, but for a better cause and in a better way.

Barack Hussein Obama is a new hope for the world. Accepting the fact that America rules the world, it is just to say that the Presidential term of Obama would affect directly to the peace and economy of the globe. He is expected to bring THE CHANGE.
I was watching the Presidential Inauguration ceremony this morning and I could almost feel the greatness of the event. Obama has been compared to Lincoln and Roosevelt. He would be facing the biggest challenges in his term : Depression and Terrorism. There are great expectations and hopes attached to him. If he could pull this off, he would be among the most successful Presidents in the history of America.
Inauguration Ceremony was mesmerizing. He did fluster at the time of Oath but other than that he seemed very calm. And his inaugural speech showed his determination and strength. He mentioned peace in Afghanistan, poor countries of the world, Muslim world(to take a new way forward, based on mutual respect), leaders blaming west for the ills in their country, the terrorism and the economy.
Performances (that emphasized the multi-culture of the country) by Elizabeth Alexander (poet), Aretha Franklin (singer), a quartet that includes violinists Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perkman, and Anthony McGill (flute) who performed an original piece of music by John Williams, children's choruses and US Navy and Marine Band, were truly beautiful.
Now that Obama has been sworn to be the 44th President of USA, America and the whole world wait for a new era. Era of Peace and Harmony.

Full text of the Inaugural address:
http://www.pic2009.org/blog/entry/president_obamas_inaugural_address/

There's always something good..

2009-01-14T12:42:00.003+11:00

The day did not start as I expected. Was very mad and furious at someone. Well, that dint change. But spoke to a very old and close friend from college after almost 2 years. I was a little scared to contact him after so long; was wondering if he would reply or not, as things were not that good when we broke contact but it turned out that he missed our friendship as much as I did. And not only he replied to my message but he also gave me his number. And when I called, I could here the same joy in his voice as I felt.

Then in the evening, I was watching a teen-series on abc family (What I like about you) and today's episode revolved around relationships. What I liked was the zest of it. "There is no such thing as 'Perfect Relationship'. What makes it perfect is how we handle it. Love, commitment, honesty, faith, trust - these are some feelings and qualities that make a relation work. Instead of running away/ fighting/hiding, from ourselves or the other person in relation, every time when things aren't perfect, if we stick to them and try to make things work, that would be closest to Perfect Relation."

So I guess, that is how it goes. And it is not the first time I(we) heard this, but somehow we always mess up relations because of stupid and pointless, ego and superbia.

A R Rahman Rocks..!!

2009-01-13T00:49:00.003+11:00

Celebrities, entertainment, fashion, humor, laughs, tears, hopes, happiness, disappointments, expectation and celebrations - integral parts of any Award function. But what makes Golden Globe Awards 2009 special to me and all Indians is a semi-Indian flavor in it. "Slumdog Millionaire".
A movie based on Indian background, with Indian cast and crew, has won 4 Golden Globe awards including the Best Motion picture and Original music score by A R Rahman. Raham was so elegant and modest when he was presented the award for Best Original Score for his song "Jai Ho". Charisma of SRK (who introduced the movie at the awards) and Rahman made India proud in international movie fraternity. Leaving behind the movies like The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire proved that we do have potential. Though movie is directed and produced by British director, Danny Boyle (who also won the Best Director award for the same), the cast and crew and story made it a reason for Indians to be glad. Movie is a must see. Though I was a little disappointed with Brad Pitt not winning and his movie not getting any award (despite of being his best till date) ;) ... Slumdog did deserve it.
With her 5 Oscar and 5 previous Golden Globe nominations Kate Winslet finally got (not one, but) two Golden Globes for best actress and best supporting role in the movies 'Revolutionary Road' and 'The Reader' respectively. Her emotional acceptance speech was so touching.

This year, I would say, was good over all for all in movie business and audiences too. With movies like A Wednesday and Dasvidinya, Bollywood too won some approval and got a much needed positive change.

Hope to see more movies made on Indian subjects and in India (by an Indian) getting accolades.

Florida Keys.. Soar..Soak..Splash..!!!

2009-01-06T01:14:00.004+11:00

An aquatic field of dreams, the watery expanse, beautiful beaches, majestic sunsets, celebrations and joy. A very happy, hopeful start to a promising New Year.

I spent the new year morning in a very memorable way. This would be my best New year start till date. And the place, The Keys, is just another paradise. Palm trees, unforgettable sunsets, tropical environment and crystal clear water, magnificent vegetation, friendly people, cheerful celebrations, lights and decorations and the spirit. It all made me so ecstatic. It felt like floating on the cloud of joy. Bright and intense sun kept burning the body but who cared when the light breeze was there to lift and glide you in the air. Just as fascinating as the flora and fauna are the people who inhabit these islands.

From the largest island, Key Largo, to the tip of Key West, the Keys are linked by 42 bridges scattered along 126 miles, historic U.S. 1 highway and the spectacular 7 mile bridge. Jimmy Buffett's rendition of "Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude" captures the essence of the Florida keys perfectly.

Key west, the southernmost city of USA was the richest city of America in 1889. It has inspired many acclaimed writers as Ernest Hemingway, Tennessee Williams, and Robert Frost. It has, the affectionately called longest main street in the world, Duval Street, because it goes from coast to coast- from Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. The Sunset celebrations we experienced in Key West were - not to be missed kind. It was so brilliant and majestic and serene watching the sun slip below the horizon.

And I did one of the things I am really scared of even now (after having it done). KAYAKING. It was so thrilling and adventurous to go among the twisting water trails through the overhanging mangroves. Starting from the Atlantic Ocean coast, into thick Mangrove jungle, with the fear of flipping the Kayak at every point. I must admit it was scary but fun.

And Dolphins.. God!! they are the sweetest and cutest and most amazing creatures. They are so much fun. Dolphin Research Center was so wonderful. It is home to about 15 dolphins. And is a great experience.

Ending the day with sunsets and then homely pubs with live music and dance. It was more than I could ask for, in a vacation.

This vacation proved out to be among the best ones. Relaxing and rejuvenating. It gave me hopes for the coming year and helped me getting over the disappointments and losses of the gone year. New Hopes, New Promises and New Wishes..!!!

Merry Christmas...!!

2008-12-23T01:29:00.006+11:00

Just yesterday I was telling Anoop about how good the weather is. Temperature was in mid 70s(deg F) all last week. And this morning it dropped down to 20 deg F again. I am so glad we escaped the harsh winter of Wisconsin this year but I am starting to miss the snow already. It was fun to have my first white Christmas last year. I have always loved Christmas. This year there won't be any snow, but sure its going to be a chilly one.
I have been watching a lot of Christmas movies lately. And I love them. This morning I was watching "A Dennis the Menace Christmas". Remember Dennis?? A cute lil kid who used to trouble Mr. Wilson but was still everybody's favorite. Oh..!! What memories of childhood. And Santa Claus. In India I never got a chance to make a list for Santa and send him the letter. But I have always been fascinated by the stories. So this year as I am close to North Pole ;), I have my list ready.. probably it would be easier for Santa to land on my Chimney..

Ok then.. you all enjoy the winter. HAPPY HOLIDAYS..!!

That's the way it is..!!

2008-12-21T04:02:00.006+11:00

I have always turned to some of my friends when I am stuck. One of them is Anoop. He is my motivational GURU. So when I was feeling low today I was browsing through his blog in hope to find some inspirational posts to keep my spirits high. Well, I won't say I succeeded but it did help me. Somehow I missed this post earlier but then I discovered this morning. And it actually made me feel good. It is one of his articles published in some magazines.

That's the way it is!!

There are the days when we get up in the morning and find that things are not the way we hoped they would be. Some times people disappoint us and let us down. Some people think that it is the worst time in their life, but we can think in other way as well, so that the “worst” can be the “best”. All that is needed is to change the perspective towards the problem. If we live our life believing in our self, having faith on our strengths and having courage to accept our weaknesses in order to mitigate them, then suddenly things around us change dramatically. A ray of hope in the darkness appears and shows us a new path for voyage of life.

The favorite word of mine is “Challenge”. I constantly look around to search for some challenges in life, and they keep me going. If we consider our weaknesses as challenges, our innermost sphere provokes us to fight against them. Always keep in mind “Success comes when planning meets action”. If you constantly keep yourself headed in right direction, you will realize an incredible strength in your self. The times of struggle help in realizing who you are and what are you for. If you want to leave your footprints on the sands of time, do not drag your feet, instead, accept the challenges, lift your foot and move ahead.

Once you determine your goal and start moving towards them, all other spheres in your life becomes subservient. In our path to destination, days come with burden of new responsibilities and frustration. At that time, keep in mind that challenges and changes will help you to find the goal. They are just milestones on the path of life. We have to accept that nothing so called destination exists in life. As we reach one, we set other for us with a new set of challenges. So, in the journey of life, we have just short sojourns, not destination. But achievements and success
give us satisfaction and moments to cherish.

Life is a celebration for those who know how to “live” it.

Another word of impact in my life is “adventure”. I am incomplete without adventures. Adventures are well embedded in every sphere of our life and the world around us. You can find them just by looking around with a new perspective. It is a kind of fun for me, I can find it in very trivial things like trying some new dish or in a kind of experimentation while cooking or in extreme things like reaching on the top of a hill and shouting from deep inside. In the words of my hero, great cyclist, Lance Armstrong-

“I want to die at hundred years old with an American flag on my back and the star of Texas on my helmet after screaming down an Alpine descent on a bicycle at 75 miles per hour. I want to cross last finish line as my stud wife and the children applaud, and then I want to lie down in a field of those famous French sunflowers and gracefully expire, a perfect contradiction of my once anticipated poignant early demise.

A slow death is not for me, I don’t do anything slow, not even breathe. I do everything at fast cadence: eat fast, sleep fast…” (From his autobiography “It’s not about bike…”).

On the path of success and achievements, we find many hurdles. I would like to mention significant one, the “Comfort Zone”. Most of us like to be in our comfort zones, we hesitate to move out and “discomfort” our self. This zone could be our friend circle, family, home or anything. Try to get out of it, then you will see the difference, you will feel more courageous to meet and face the strangers, you will be more adaptable and comfortable in any situation. In Shri Bhagavad Gita it is written somewhere –

“Not deluded by pride, free from selfish attachment and selfish desire, beyond the duality of pleasure and pain, even aware of Self, the wise go forward to eternal goal.”

So, just move ahead with ‘go and get it’ strategy, that’s the way it is! In the words of Lewis Carrol-

Let Craft, Ambition, Spite,
Be quenched in Reason's right,
Till weakness turn to might,
Till what is dark be light,
Till what is wrong be right!

Scattered and Cloudy..

2008-12-20T06:16:00.004+11:00

I was reading all the comments and suggestions and advices on how I should go for short term goals. Anoop, Nandita, Shravan and Vaibhav bhaiya.. I really appreciate your concerns but I am really mixed-up this time. All who know me, they know I always try to do the things in their best ways. Well.. I used to. But this time all these words and philosophies seem to be of no use. Doing things to the fullest is so far a thought when I don't even feel like doing anything. Everything - cooking, reading, taking care of Ritesh, traveling - all seem to be so futile. These are all duties but with no passion. These are not what I "want" to do. I mean, yeah, I do like cooking and going places and being with Ritesh. But I can't say that is the aim of my life. And as I have nothing worth to do, I watch TV all afternoon and evening and spend time browsing; and its getting worse everyday. Surrounding feels gloomy and dark and lonely. I miss my family a lot. Mummy and Ruchi, I was so used to be with them, having fun, talking, playing, helping her do stuff.
I guess this is the price to be paid for being away from family and making more money.. Like they say "You gotta lose something to get something". And I lost myself.

Lost..!!

2008-12-18T04:54:00.005+11:00

Its hard to accept life when it is not your way. When I see people around me, fighting to achieve their goals, living to make their dreams come true, I feel so disappointed in myself. I have never been like this. So aimless, without any goal, without any dreams. I remember those days when I was preparing for my engineering entrance, the days when I had a dream to work in ISRO. I get nostalgic and mellow. I had passion to get what I wanted. I was willing to go as far as it takes to achieve my dreams and goals. And now when I see myself, I see a lost girl who does not know what she wants and what she would be in coming times. A girl who has no aim and no passion. All confused and agitated. And this makes me cranky all the time and so I hurt people close to me because of this frustration. I do not know what my expectations are and what I want from my life and then I try hard to find lost 'me' and end up in losing myself even more.
Probably its just being at home all alone all day and being so far away from family is making me more lonely. In the last few months I have tried so many new things just to keep myself busy and not think about anything else. But nothing seems to work. In fact this has made things worse as I quit in the middle and that has added to my disappointment. I don't even know what to wish for.

Perfect Present..!!

2008-12-17T07:53:00.000+11:00

The best gift you can give is a hug: one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS..!!

The best good-bye ever..!!

2008-12-16T02:56:00.002+11:00

There was Anand, who despite being a cancer patient, lives his life to the fullest. Then there was Bucket list.. a list of "to do" things by a man who knew he was going to die soon. And then came Dasvidanya. Aptly named the best good-bye ever..!! In my opinion this was by far the best movie made on the subject. Breathtaking performances by everyone and wonderful direction. Vinay Pathak plays the pain of common man so beautifully that we connect to Amar Kaul right from the starting. There is nothing special about the movie yet it is so special. Small dreams like buying new car, foreign trip, guitar; these are the things we think of, everyday and these dreams get lost in more important day to day needs. And Amar Kaul portarys the desires wonderfully. It is so comforting and pleasing to know that small budget movies in India are doing great. Simple subjects, strong perfomances and original stories. Seems like Indian movies have bright furture. Good change for a change.. !!

Slumdog Millionaire..!!

2008-12-13T04:06:00.002+11:00

I was happily surprised when I watching the news for Golden Globe Nominations for the year 2009. A movie called "Slumdog Millionaire" was nominated in various categories including best motion picture. Directed by British director David Bolye, it is a movie about a young Indian boy , Jamal, who has spent all his life in slums and now when he is only one question away from winning 20 million rupees in Kaun Banega Crorepati, he is arrested on a doubt of cheating. In jail he gets close to one poilce inspector (played by Irfan Khan) and tells him how clues for all the answers were coincidently were in his past life. The movie is playing in selected theaters only and is being called the first 21st century movie. Has been critically acclaimed and is expected to land Oscar (apart from many other awards already won). Though the movie is in english and crew is english too, I was pleased to see a movie based on Indian background and all Indian cast (including Anil Kapoor, Irfan Khan) appreciated on international level and feel a sense of pride for us, Indians.
I am looking forward to see the movie.

Least we could do...

2008-12-03T03:46:00.003+11:00

I have read numerous articles and posts by media and some of my friends. Wrote something myself too. Gave some comments. Never saw this anger and willingness to do something before. Each and everyone of us needs action now. We have seen many reactions but now is the time for action. And I noticed everyone, including me is blaming politicians and expecting them to do something about this. Well, yeah, its the most obvious reaction. Why? Because those are the ones with power and authority to do something. Right. But does that mean we, the common man, is powerless. In the world's largest democracy, least we could do is use the power we actually have.
Power of speech, power to vote, power to choose our representatives, power of media, power of confidence and power of will. Its easy to put blame on someone with authorities but nothing is as hard as to make use of one's own authority. Yeah, politicians are corrupt, but so are we. And they are Indians too. We must know that these attacks are as hard for the politicians as they are for us. They would be losing their seats and vote banks because of this. So its not only us who are hurt. Its them too. Though the intentions may be different. And instead of just cursing and blaming them now, (when we did play part in putting them where they are), we should play a part to make it right.
By raising our voice now, by putting a pressure on them now to act, by helping media to convey the right news and opinions. Being alert and aware, keeping eyes and ears and mind, open all the time. We can actually make a difference. Like they say, Keep the fire burning.

Back to our lives.. again..!!

2008-12-02T09:04:00.004+11:00

After watching hours of news on terror attacks, reading hundreds of articles, indulging in several discussions with family and friends and at the end of the day I realized what I was concerned about was what to cook for dinner. What I had to do the next day? Would I be able to go to India this year? Ritesh was worried if his project would go live?
I called my family to know if they were safe. Blamed some politicians and applauded the bravery of police, NSG and others. Prayed for the lost souls. Planned our New Year vacation. Went for Christmas shopping. This is what we did at the time of blasts in Jaipur, and in Ahemdabad, and Mumabi. Went on with our personal lives. And this is what we would be doing if we wont make it the last time.
Can we as common folks do something.. ??Do we actually want to..?? Or have we got accustomed to living with rage?? So occupied with our lives that whatever happens is just another news and a few days of anger. Leaving the "authorities" to solve this on their own.

India Hurt..

2008-11-28T03:49:00.002+11:00

I lost a very good friend in the recent terror attacks in mumbai. What are the odds that one of the victims is your own?? How long do we have to wait to put an end to it?? When would this be over?? Its high time we should get over our personal lives, politics and small miseries and unite against the evil force. We should work up our rage in fighting with the terror rather than using it against each other.

May God rest the lost souls in peace..!!
We will miss you Gaurav.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING..!!

2008-11-19T02:36:00.004+11:00

November 27th, 2008 is Thanksgiving here in USA.. I made a card for my American friend to wish her for the occasion. Thought I would post it here.. :D

Tricolor on MOON...!!

2008-11-19T00:15:00.003+11:00

On Nov 14, 2008, India joined the on-the-moon club, after Chandrayaan-1 launched the impact probe, blazoned with the Indian flag, at the lunar surface. India has entered the Moon. Making every Indian proud, ISRO has demonstrated its ability to conquer the space by letting the world know that we have the technology to land on the moon. In a glorious mission, amidst all the national issues including terrorism, market recession and politics, India has showed her quest for technology and high spirits for growth in every sector.
With the start, India now hopes to land a rover on lunar surface by 2011.
Soon an Indian would step on the ever fascinating surface of the MOON.
AMEN!!!

Cheers for ISRO team and many congratulations to each and every INDIAN...!!

Oh, the places you'll go..!!

2008-11-14T03:43:00.004+11:00

Third post of the day but I came across this very touching poem by Dr. Seuss.
Here is a part of it I like the most.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

For the full poem.. : http://3protons.wordpress.com/2007/08/31/the-waiting-place-a-poem/

Install Love..!!

2008-11-14T02:30:00.002+11:00

I read this in my friend's blog and thought some of you might like it as I did..

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I have decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
TS: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
C: Well, I am not very technical, but I think I am ready, as long as you walk me through the steps. Tell me now, what do I do first?
TS: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your heart?
C: Yes, but there are several other programmes running now. Is it okay to install love while they are running?
TS: Err… What programmes are running, can you list them for me?
C: Let’s see, I have past hurt, low self- esteem, grudge and resentment running right now.
TC: No Problem, you can go right ahead. Love will gradually erase past hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programmes. Love will eventually override low self-esteem with module of its own called high self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off grudge and resentment. Those programmes prevent love from being installed properly. Tell me, can you turn these off?
C: Ummm…let me see. Actually, I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? Please help.
TC: With pleasure. It’s really quite simple. Go to your start menu and invoke forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until grudge and resentment have been completely erased.
C: Okay, done! Wow, love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
TC: Yes, but remember that you have only the base programme. Its’ quite basic. You need to begin connecting to other hearts in order to get the upgrades.
C: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error- programme not run on external components”. What should I do now?
TC: Don’t worry, relax. It means that the love programme is set up to run on internal hearts, but has not yet been run on your heart. In non-technical terms, its simply means you have to love yourself before you can love others.
C: So, what should I do?
TC: Pull down self-acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive self; Realize your worth; and Acknowledge your limitations.
C: Okay, done! That wasn’t too difficult.
TC: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete verbose self criticism from all the directories and empty your recycle bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
C: Got it, Hey! My heart is filling up with many new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and peace and contentment are copying themselves all over my heart. Is this normal?
TC: Sometimes, for others it takes a while but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So love is installed and running. One more thing before we hung up. Love is a free-ware. Be sure to pass it and its various modules around to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
C: Thank you, thank you so much.

NASA.. here I come..!!

2008-11-14T02:21:00.003+11:00

We are leaving for Kennedy Space Center (NASA) tonight to witness the launch of Space Shuttle Endeavour. I don't even remember since when, but I have always been a SPACE girl. Luck me..!! ,got a chance to work at India's Space port. And now again Lucky Me.!! getting a chance to see world's biggest and most advance Space Port. Though I was not lucky enough to be a part of any Indian launch but never mind. At least I would be able to feel the thrill of the moment. (If everything goes well and weather is on side so the flight does not get delayed or postponed). Keeping my fingers crossed, NASA.. here I come..

That's me..!!

2008-11-12T16:06:00.005+11:00

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.

In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

From : http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

Yeah..!! I guess that's me.. hard to believe though.. :D

Go Wild..!!

2008-11-11T14:50:00.001+11:00

I was watching this series on Discovery, "Thrill Zone", based on the stunts daredevils performed on Niagara Falls. I was not at all happy with people risking their lives (and of the rescuers) for few moments of mad thrill but what fascinated me was the power of nature. And I wondered how every time we try to conquer natural force, mother nature shows us our limits. I had a crazy idea of not getting involved in the family and social bonds and earn money and discover the wonders of nature. Go places and see wonderful things. Go wild..!!

Go to Grand Canyon and see the largest canyon, go Australia and see the largest coral reef system, climb the might Himalayas, see the beautiful and amazing northern lights, witness an active volcano. Go wild in the jungles of amazon and feel the love in Swiss Alps. Feel the thunder of waterfalls. Float on the dead sea. Witness the most wonderful sunrise in key west and mesmerizing sunset in Langkwai. Have an adventure in raw hills of Arunachal and back waters of Kerela. Get burnt in the heat of Sahara and freeze in Alaska..

And if some day I want to see how we have done wonders.. there is always Colosseum of Rome, Pyramids of Giza, Beautiful bridges and underwater tunnels, epitome of Love, Taj Mahal, always awake metro cities..

There is so much to explore that a lifetime seems to be too short. And here we are wasting our lives in the day to day miseries.
I wish some day God would grant my wish and say that I am being relieved of all my duties and responsibilities and could go and see what he has in store. Heaven on Earth..!!

Downtown..!! (by Tony Hatch)

2008-10-25T12:46:00.001+11:00

When you're alone
And life is making you lonely,
You can always go downtown
When you've got worries,
All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know, downtown

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure
Downtown, everything's waiting for you

Don't hang around
And let your problems surround you
There are movie shows downtown
Maybe you know
Some little places to go to
Where they never close downtown

Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossanova
You'll be dancing with 'em too before the night is over
Happy again

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them alone

So, maybe I'll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares and go
Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, don't wait a minute more
Downtown, everything's waiting for you

Be proud..!!

2008-10-23T02:37:00.003+11:00

Many Congratulations to all Indians for Chandrayaan-I Launch.. !!
When I was a part of ISRO I always used to wonder if this mission would ever get a go.. But here we are.. Fighting against all the odds (rains and thunderstorms and not a very favorable weather) ISRO team did a great job putting INDIA among the elite group on the world map making every Indian proud.
I have been upset for long that the money assigned for space missions is not being used for good, productive purposes but when Chandrayaan lifted off.. I felt a sense of proud and really glad. Do not have any word to pen down the feeling.
Being a developing country, like Vikram Sarabhai Space Centre Director K Radhakrishnan said, "We could not have asked for more". Its the beginning of a new era.

All the very best for the manned mission to moon.

Congratulations again..!!

Bewildered.. !!

2008-10-21T03:26:00.004+11:00

Everything is so quiet and peaceful but there is this loud roar inside. A scream, a fear and loneliness. Fear of losing something; something I have always had and lost it somewhere already on my way to where I am now. Being in a crowd and still feel lonely. Standing in sun and waiting for the darkness to take over and hide you from everything. With so much activity going on and feeling the stillness around you. Looking at smiling faces and wondering about their beauty.
Watching children play and thinking about old days. Always having a thought in the back of the mind.. What am I doing?? What have I done?? Having weird dreams about someone you might have loved. A sense of mortification. Repressing feelings which should be expressed. A desire, want, to Trust someone. Go wild. Unleash the thoughts. Chaos!!!

A Wednesday..

2008-10-18T08:45:00.003+11:00

Its been so long that I almost forgot that Indian movies could be so real. I just finished watching 'A Wednesday' and I don't know how I feel but certainly something stirred inside me. I did not know what to expect of the movie when all my friends suggested me to watch this. But I would say it was one of the best movies ever made on sensitive subject of terrorism. There was never any doubt about the acting of Anupam Kher and Naseeruddin Shah. Script is so touching that at some points you feel that these are your own words. Naseer has depicted the pain of common folk very effectively.

Movie is a must see..

Another Break in the Journey.. !!

2008-10-18T03:35:00.001+11:00

Welcome to Fayetteville... A beautiful military town in the state of North Carolina, USA.
Its about 60 miles from the capital city of Raleigh and has a base for US Army..

New city, new people, new environment, new home.. everything new ... AGAIN..
When I landed at the airport, I felt I would like this place from the surface but I would feel isolated and lonely from inside.. Ride from the airport to the apartment/guest house was pretty with pleasant weather thankfully.. Its a big city as compared to FDL, so the roads are wider and much more busier.. Speed limit on the city roads are 45 miles/hr (was 25 in FDL) .. I don't think I am gonna drive here unless needed.. Traffic is close to what we have in Mumbai.. organized but fast.. fast but still safe.. When we reached the guest house, at first I was overwhelmed.. Its like a posh hotel with all the amenities and luxuries.. Beautifully decorated rooms and state of the art kitchen (I really liked the kitchen). I thought this would be a dream stay.. but then when I went to bed (which is way too high and I felt like I was on the upper berth in the train), I felt so closed.. as if someone shut down my thoughts.. I was blank and kept staring at the roof..

Most of the apartments in the township are occupied by US Army families.. (Ritesh is kinda scared about my liking of (handsome) men in uniform.. ;) )..

Our car was transported before we came so that we wont have to take a rental and one of his friends took the delivery and parked it properly. But guess what??
When we thought of going to the market to get some necessary stuff, we found out that the battery was dead and car wont start and to add to that, road side assistance (which is covered by our insurance) had expired.. So we called the insurance people and found them to be really nice and helpful.. they renewed the assistance policy and sent help right away.. and then the internet guy came and he did all the installments at a very short notice.. It was really good to see people trying to give the best of their services..

So finally we went to the Walmart in the night and got lost on our way back even with the map; had to call a friend to ask for the directions.. We should get a GPS now.. :D

Was hell of a day..!!! Exciting, interesting, adventurous and very tiring..
I guess it would be hard for us to adjust here than we did in FDL.. FDL was more homely town and people were more friendlier (though i haven't met many here)..
I just feel if I would keep my mind open and try to get accustomed to the conservative southern style I would do fine here.. After all I have got another chance to explore and a have different kind of experience which I hope would be a wonderful adventure.. Keeping my finger crossed..