Answer

Cast me gently

Into morning

For the night has been unkind

Take me to a

Place so holy

That I can wash this from my mind

The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life

I won't break, I won't bend

It will all be worth it

Worth it in the end

'Cause I can only tell you what I know

That I need you in my life

When the stars have all burned out

You'll still be burning so bright. 

Empty?!

He asked me to make a list of people/things I can't go without. Something/someone that makes me happy. All I could think of was "I can't do without a big enough bathroom". But then again, I AM doing without it now, as my current apartment's isn't what I would call a big one. My point is, after about a month, my list is still blank and I haven't got enough courage to talk to him. Because I know whatever he would say would be right. And I am not sure if I am ready to face the "right". 

I am pretty sure that one thing that makes me happy is ME. Me- 'Alone'. It should be a positive thing, ain't it? What about the people? You can't escape them. Wherever you go, there they are. Telling you what to do, how to do. Judging every single step you take. Criticizing every decision you make. Among these "wise" people, I feel lost. Lost without any aim. Without any destination. I need to find my way, if not my purpose. 

In the words of  David Wagoner -

"Stand Still. 

The trees ahead and bushes beside you are not lost. 

Wherever you are is called Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven.

No two branches are the same to Wren.

If what a tree or a bush does is lost to you, 

You are surely lost. 

Stand Still. 

The forest knows where you are. 

You must let it find you."

Do I need to stand still? and let it find me?  

A 'Still' Journey.

I am not old enough to talk about "life". I haven't seen a percent of what it is. Me talking about life is like someone talking about the universe, without having a clue of its vastness but just an idea of its beauty. In whatever small period of my life till date, I have lost and found love. I have dreamed and let the dream break. I have got whatever I wanted and still felt empty. But in all those years, I thought, I knew what I wanted. That was what kept me driving. Every setback, every failure, I accepted it. I had to. And the life didn't stop. At those times people around me advised me to move on. To let go. And I did. But then again, did I? 

Moving on and letting go are such illusive words. You never actually move on. Never. You might mummify the memory, bury it in the pyramid of time, but it lies there, though dormant but very, very real. Forever. Once in a while giving you a whiff of the past, pleasant and unpleasant. A part of you stays in that period, no matter how far you have come, leaving a void in you, which is never to be filled. And it is the void that keeps you moving. Because if you stop, the past drags you back into the hole, denying you the possibilities of the present and the future. The void becomes a reminder of what you have lost/gained and what you should preserve. 

These are things you have no control over. You don't move on, but you still walk, looking back once in a while. You don't control life. Life controls you. 

As RANDOM as it could be.

"Queensland flooding claims four-year old boy." - iprime Horsham 

"Five killed in Arizona shooting. " - Fox News

"Mystery shrouds students' death in Bangalore." - Time of India 

"Brazil flood death toll rises to 482, more feared". - Reuters 

We wake up to similar news everyday. Big or small, natural or humane, calamity or incident, such occurrences claim hundreds of lives. Hundreds of innocent lives. What could be the criterion of such happenings? How are the people chosen to die untimely or suffer, if they live? Why some meet death and others survive? What bad could a four year boy have done to meet this end? Can you or I be the next victim? Does God (if there is) has any, any plan for us?

Unanswered questions. And more questions. Could there be any purpose of something, or anything for that matter, if the life is so random? "As you sow so shall you reap". Doesn't mean a thing. Those who meet an untimely end and do not get to do what they wanted with their life must have had done something terrible, right? But I could not make a child fit the bill. He didn't get a chance. Or those who happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Like the person who went to check on his father in a flooded house and drowned. Is any of what happens to them, their fault?

How could one not lose faith, when there is no hope of having a hope?

The Wish and the battle inside.

Each one of us has one wish, we don't usually share with anyone. The wish we don't even admit to have.  Something we want so badly that it dominates everything else in our lives, without us knowing about it. 

The fear of falling stops us from walking towards it.  And most people spend their whole life with the fear and end up never stepping up and then ultimately losing it. 

I am no different than most people. And I have that One Ultimate Wish too. But I don't want my fear to get in the way of me, fulfilling that wish. I have already wasted five years in the darkness of it and I refuse to be haunted by it anymore. So this year, I am going to work for it. I have nothing to lose because if I don't, I lose it anyway. 

I am going to make that call, and I am going to make my wish come true. And if it doesn't, I would live with the satisfaction of fighting for it.  

Teri yaad saath hai.

Main Jahaan Rahoon
Main Kahin Bhi Hoon
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai.


Kisi Se Kahoon
Ke Nahi Kahoon 
Yeh Jo Dil Ki Baat Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai 
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai 
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai 




Kahin To Dil Mein Yaadon Ki
Ek Suli Gad Jaati Hai 
Kahin Har Ek Tasveer Bhahut Hi Dhondhali Pad Jati Hai
Koi Nayi Duniya Ke Naye Rango Mein Khush Rehta Hai 
Koi Sab Kuch Paake Bhi Yeh Mann Hi Mann Kehta Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai 
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai 
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai




Kahin To Beete Kal Ki Jadein
Dil Mein Hi Utar Jaati Hai
Kahin Jo Dhage Tute To Malaayen Bhikar Jaati 
Koi Dil Mein Jagah Nayi, Baaton Ke Liye Rakhta Hai
Koi Apni Palko Par Yaadon Ke Diye Rakhta Hai
Kehne Ko Saath Apane Ek Duniya Chalti Hai 
Per Chhupke Is Dil Mein Tanhaayi Palti Hai
Bas Yaad Saath Hai 
Teri Yaad Saaath Hai


- Javed Akhtar