Divine Power!

Today I felt the presence of divine. And it was a feeling I thought I lost long ago. We were planing to go to Vaishno Devi. And all the plans were in dilemma. Yes-No-Yes-No, we were not able to decide whether to go or not. And this morning we decided to cancel it. I was lil upset as I wanted to go so badly.

I had my doctor's appointment and so I went there after finishing all the routine work. This was my second appointment of the week. When I went last time, I did not notice the picture I did today. I was waiting for the doc and suddenly noticed the picture of Durga Ma. That was a sign I thought. I closed my eyes and prayed for a while. Apologized for not being able to go to Vaishno Devi. Asked for everything to get better. And came back home.

As soon as I entered my place, papaji was on call with my dad and he told me that the plan for Vaishno Devi is still on. And I realized the power. The feeling was so intense that I got overwhelmed.

There was nothing special in all this. I just felt the presence, the sign, and wanted to share with someone.

Breaking Break!

I have been trying to write something for long. Every time I try to post here I feel, "I should better keep this to myself". And this feeling is not for any particular post/event/memory, but for everything I pen down. I am more comfortable expressing my feeling in writing rather than speaking to anyone. But this time, I don't know, even this comfort seems to be troubling me.

Since I came to India, things have been keeping me occupied. Family gatherings, social calls, evening outs, day to day work, which once I used to manage somehow, are now obligations. I never enjoyed large crowds, especially crowd with so many known faces; but now it has become worse. People constantly staring and observing me. How US has changed me. How the difference of culture has affected me. Everyone trying to judge me. All this is making me frustrated and I am hoping to escape from this and spend some quiet and peaceful time, just for me, in Indore. But that is another next to impossible thing as everyone there too is waiting to give me a grand welcome. All I need is some quality time with my family and friends, mom, Ruchi, but these social meetings are taking up all the time and I am afraid that by the time I would reach Indore, I would be so done that I would hardly be able to enjoy with my loved ones.

Why do people have to interfere in each and every asepect of our lives? Why can't they stay focused on there own matters (which certainly are many)? We all need ceratin privacy (even if we are social animals) and we do have a right to act and think however we want. One thing I really like in Wertern World is the freedom of living life on one's own terms (and not society's). And unlike, what prejuidice we have about the westeners, during my stay in US, I have learned that they too are equally social, co-operative, kind and generous.

I really hope, this phase would be over soon and I will get used to it and would be able to adjust with "traditional" society.